British Humor Quotes: top 38 famous quotes about British Humor

British Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational British Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The British nation is unique in this respect: they are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst. — Winston S. Churchill

Of course those that have charm don't really need brains. — Evelyn Waugh

One day, and it may be long off, but one day there will be bacon again. It might be mouse bacon, but that will do for me. — Frank Tayell

Pessimism drops the curtain on tomorrow. — Robert H. Schuller

Always skip to the pub to enjoy your barley and hops — Benny Bellamacina

Genitals are a great distraction to scholarship — Malcolm Bradbury

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now? — Douglas Adams

Stop fretting and eat your Madeira Cake.. — Diane Samuels

The pleasant fact is that the British are not much good at violent crime except in fiction, which is of course as it should be. — Bill Bryson

The world needs some excitement from fashion. — Christian Lacroix

Rook Thomas, you look different somehow."
"Well, I recently got the shit kicked out of me," she said.
"Ah, that would be it then. — Daniel O'Malley

Agatha Christie n. A silent, putrid fart committed by someone in this very room, and only one person knows whodunnit. — VIZ

Ello, love. Fancy a cuppa?"
"You're not British, Isis," Naomi says.
"I can be things," I insist. — Sara Wolf

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch. — Frankie Boyle

You took out a book on blow-job technique from the British Library? They shouldn't have books like that in there! — Sarra Manning

The moment that an artist takes notice of what other people want, and tries to supply the demand, he ceases to be an artist. — Oscar Wilde

Henry Denton: You Brits really don't have a sense of humor do you?
Elsie: We do if something's funny, sir. — Julian Fellowes

At no point during the making of this book have I inverted my penis although I did go to Blackpool which turned out to be almost as painful. — Matt Rudd

Geoff's arm emanated with a solid warmth I longed for after our days aboard S.S.
British-Craphole. — Katherine McIntyre

I can't help it that this is the Bermunda Triangle"- She pointed at her crotch-"when guys venture there, they tend to stay — Kresley Cole

Am I bothered? Am I bothered though. I ain't doing nothing cause I ain't bothered. — Catherine Tate

Love of sugar had to mean true love. It just had to. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

I believe that the development of language - of naming, categorization, conceptualization - destroys our ability to see as we age. — Chris Ware

Ten years, she's dead, and I still find myself some mornings reaching for the phone to call her. She could no more be gone than gravity or the moon. — Mary Karr

There is nobody as hopelessly vulgar as a British aristocrat ... — Charles Finch

The whole plan's so high on the cheese factor it's practically Stilton — Zadie Smith

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. — Steven Wright

I love British humor. It's just so - surreal. — Beck

I suppose I miss the British cynicism and the humor. — Rod Stewart

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads. — Lee Westwood

I read my email aloud to hear how it sounded, then I read it again in a British accent to make sure it didn't come across as pretentious. — Jerry Mahoney

Time strips our illusions of their hue, And one by one in turn, some grand mistake Casts off its bright skin yearly like the snake. — Lord Byron

Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind. — P.G. Wodehouse

The British and Americans are two people separated by a common language. — George Bernard Shaw

I wondered how a man ever got an English girl into bed. What did they do with her hockey stick? — James A. Michener

corgi 1. n. A high class hound, such as those that accompany the Queen. 2. n. A high class hound, such as the one that accompanies Prince Charles. — VIZ

With twins, reading aloud to them was the only chance I could get to sit down. I read them picture books until they were reading on their own. — Beverly Cleary

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps. — Peter Ustinov