Bob Saget Quotes: top 70 famous quotes about Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bob Saget quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: It's a new day: Full of promise and

It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Met a girl the other nite and told

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Beautiful clear day in Beverly Hills. The sweet

Beautiful clear day in Beverly Hills. The sweet smell of Botox is in the air. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Most people argue over who's right, not about

Most people argue over who's right, not about what the truth is. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: The greatness of a man is only measured

The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Penn Jillette: Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him. — Penn Jillette

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Just went to the gym and worked on

Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I really love making people laugh.

I really love making people laugh. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: A lot of the comedians don't even tell

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous

And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and ... filled with stuffing. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My father once told me, and it's stuck

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I never went to camp as a kid.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I'm a believer that when one door closes

I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My mom just told me it's impossible to

My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My wife is a saint. She's Gandhi. She

My wife is a saint. She's Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won't eat. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,'

If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Kindness isn't just a virtue, its a necessity.

Kindness isn't just a virtue, its a necessity. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Nobody can tell me what I can or

Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't

When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My dad's like, If your mom and I

My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's

I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: People do what they do to each other

People do what they do to each other and they feed on it. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: It's okay to get stoned, as long as

It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: There are no I's in we but there

There are no I's in we but there are two i's in Wii. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: A lot of people ask me what my

A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one! — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: No one gets a free ride. Except maybe

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: If someone sprays windex in your food it

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I never expected to live this long.

I never expected to live this long. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: One of the first things I said when

One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Everyone I love I pay.

Everyone I love I pay. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I just had a pedicure. My feet are

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I have the brain of a German Shepherd

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they're both in my car and I want you to see them — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at

Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Around comics, I've always been known for, oh,

Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation:

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I was in a supermarket and I saw

I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce ... I thought he was missing. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My humor was kind of from my dad

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My confidence wavers between being genuine and being

My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: It's smart to marry your yoga teacher so

It's smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't

Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By King Tuff: Bob Saget is the bear from the Golden

Bob Saget is the bear from the Golden Crisp box. — King Tuff

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: What I've learned about comedy people is that

What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I don't censor myself, but I don't want

I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: The squirrel in my yard really knows his

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I become a chameleon for wherever I am.

I become a chameleon for wherever I am. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Some dead people said smart stuff.

Some dead people said smart stuff. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: You learn who your friends are when you

You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that

If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: If you're hanging out with two negative people,

If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my

Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Valuable people are undervalued.

Valuable people are undervalued. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just

My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I think when you dissect a joke too

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise

Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow. — Bob Saget

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore.

I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I love telling stories and acting and entertaining

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: As time goes on, the more I value

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: My mom told me she thinks a man

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Think well of yourself and others will too.

Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang

Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: What do you do if you're in the

What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass

Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass in words with friends. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Found a bunch of old shower caps in

Found a bunch of old shower caps in my house. Was gonna throw them out but realized they make excellent porta potties for long road trips. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: It's so nice to share a day as

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly

I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: A good way to keep your relationship together

A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget Quotes By Bob Saget: I love my mom! You can too for

I love my mom! You can too for $12! — Bob Saget