Bill Bailey Quotes: top 51 famous quotes about Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bill Bailey quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has

I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?' — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Three blokes go into a pub. One of

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: There we go, that's it. I just hold

There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're

Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with

Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow

I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion! — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.' — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: In Unity there is strength; We can move

In Unity there is strength;
We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life -
Without unity we are victims. Stay united. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I'm English and, as such, I crave disappointment.

I'm English and, as such, I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Yes. Yes, when we live our life like

Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?" — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I suppose you could be a member of

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Three blind mice walk into a pub. But

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: If you have enough money to be comfortable

If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Orchestras have often been used to conjure up

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: It's not a beard, it's an animal I've

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: How many amoebas does it take to screw

How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ... no eight! — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

I am a confectionery-based existentialist. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens.

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!! — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes

It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I once punched a bloke in the face

I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.' — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life ... — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: What I'd like to do now - well,

What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Work hard, save and live within your means.

Work hard, save and live within your means. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was

Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently ... — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: A feminist jumps out of a manhole -

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them

So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all! — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bobby Darin: When I come out and sing the first

When I come out and sing the first few bars of Bill Bailey, it's very exciting. — Bobby Darin

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: There's more evil in the charts than an

There's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: The BBC did a survey of the top

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small,

I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Relaxed Empiricism I only believe something to be

Relaxed Empiricism
I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine

American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Welcome to the O2. A unique building in

Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: The day after tomorrow is the first day

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I'm a sort of like post-modern vegetarian, I

I'm a sort of like post-modern vegetarian, I eat meat ... Ironically. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Thank God for Darwin, eh?

Thank God for Darwin, eh? — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: "God save our gracious Queen": Why would we

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers? — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

Nostalgia: How long's that been around? — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I got ham but I'm not a Hamster

I got ham but I'm not a Hamster — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: This shed does not contain me.

This shed does not contain me. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they. — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!" — Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By F. Lee Bailey: Can any of you seriously say the Bill

Can any of you seriously say the Bill of Rights could get through Congress today? It wouldn't even get out of committee. — F. Lee Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes By Bill Bailey: I know that to be a true fact

I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine — Bill Bailey