Best David Sedaris Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Best David Sedaris

Best David Sedaris Quotes & Sayings

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Well, that's a hell of a reason to poison yourself. — David Sedaris

There's a short circuit between my brain and my tongue, thus "Leave me the fuck alone" comes out as "Well, maybe. Sure. I guess I can see your point. — David Sedaris

To be exotic, on the other hand, one had to think not just outside the box but outside the world of boxes. — David Sedaris

It's not lost on me that I'm so busy recording life, I don't have time to really live it. — David Sedaris

I don't like travelling if I know I have to write about it. — David Sedaris

I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. — David Sedaris

I know it sounds calculating, but if you're not cute, you might as well be clever. — David Sedaris

he's braw and pulchritudinous, — David Sedaris

He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us! — David Sedaris

A new group, flexitarians, who eat meat if not too many people are watching. — David Sedaris

Nobody dreams of the things he already has. — David Sedaris

I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives. — David Sedaris

Weird doors open. People fall into things. — David Sedaris

The thing to remeber is that more than anything in this world, these colored people wish they were white. — David Sedaris

He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face. — David Sedaris

She hit bottom when she physically attacked a deaf-mute. This was a boy of fourteen, a beloved neighborhood figure who delivered for the nearby deli. — David Sedaris

Weeks passed, my suitcase grew more and more conventional. "I've got something for you," I'd say to a teenager. "It's nothing huge, — David Sedaris

True art was based upon despair, and the important thing was to make yourself and those around you as miserable as possible. — David Sedaris

It was like seeing someone who wore a striped tie or parted his hair on the left - a detail, but not a telling one. — David Sedaris

But all of a sudden they're poets, right, like that's all it takes - being in love. — David Sedaris

Here I am, just turned fifty, and I forgot that my father isn't dead yet! — David Sedaris

That man tried to picka my frienda's pocketoni! — David Sedaris

Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you've come to mow its lawns. — David Sedaris

I'm dating myself, but this was before Jesus Christ. We worshiped a God named Sashatiba, who had five eyes, including one on the Adam's apple. — David Sedaris

Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes. — David Sedaris

In Paris you're always surrounded by French people. — David Sedaris

Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage. — David Sedaris

Every day spent with you is like having a cesarean section. — David Sedaris

This is a busy week with me and lunatics, whom I tend to see as either signs or messengers. — David Sedaris

It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment. — David Sedaris