Best David Letterman Quotes

Collection of top 40 famous quotes about Best David Letterman

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Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.' — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.' — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: You can email me, but I prefer letters You can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: The worst tempered people I have ever met The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Newt Gingrich is against same-sex marriage. Well, actually, Newt Gingrich is against same-sex marriage. Well, actually, he's against same-marriage sex. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: They have dog food for constipated dogs. If They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. He said, 'Don't worry, we should not be there any longer than a Kardashian marriage.' — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: They say there are about 12 million illegal They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Two things you need to know about taxes. Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it out to China. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Tourists - have some fun with New york's Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking." — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Just make sure if you fail, you did Just make sure if you fail, you did what you wanted to do. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: I hate decaffeinated coffee. It's useless brown water. I hate decaffeinated coffee. It's useless brown water. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By Leslie Moonves: CBS is proud to have been the home CBS is proud to have been the home of David Letterman since 1993. He is truly one of the great talents of our time, and we hope things work out. — Leslie Moonves
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: The first presidential debate was down in Florida. The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Newt Gingrich wants to build a colony on Newt Gingrich wants to build a colony on the Moon. OK, you say, but why? Well, he wants to be the first American to get divorced on the Moon. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Back when we started this show, the hottest Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.' — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: You all know Newt Gingrich. Newt is short You all know Newt Gingrich. Newt is short for Newton. People say if that's the case, what is Mitt short for? It's short for 'Mittens.' — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: You have Kim Jong Il, and you have You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: My retirement plan was in place but Bernie My retirement plan was in place but Bernie Maidoff with my money. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: The European countries are really hoping to do The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate. — David Letterman
Best David Letterman Quotes By Stephen Colbert: We will try to honor David Letterman achievement We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us. — Stephen Colbert
Best David Letterman Quotes By David Letterman: You know what I love best about baseball? You know what I love best about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt - and that's just in the hot-dogs. — David Letterman