Best Billy Connolly Quotes

Collection of top 30 famous quotes about Best Billy Connolly

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Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: When I read 'Be real, don't get caught When I read 'Be real, don't get caught acting,' I thought, 'How the hell do you do that?'. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: [To audience members who were arriving late] You [To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: I don't aim to offend. I don't aim to offend. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Tread gently on anyone who looks at you Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Paddy was in the delivery room when the Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else" — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Killing a guy and stealing his wife and Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: If you haven't heard a good rumour by If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Life is a waste of time, and time Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life! — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Don't work out, work in. Don't work out, work in. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: I always look skint. When I buy a I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: It seems to me that Islam and Christianity It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Why do they call it an asteroid when Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass? — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Fuck the begrudgers Fuck the begrudgers — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again so is a bicycle repair kit. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Never run with scissors or other pointy objects. Never run with scissors or other pointy objects. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: I'm not going to throw away the hand I'm not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow. — Billy Connolly
Best Billy Connolly Quotes By Billy Connolly: Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires! — Billy Connolly