Best Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Best Ambrose Bierce Quotes & Sayings
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Alone, adj. In bad company.
— Ambrose Bierce
Finance is the art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager
— Ambrose Bierce
Grammar, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
— Ambrose Bierce
RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.
— Ambrose Bierce
RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.
— Ambrose Bierce
It is one of the important uses of civility to signify resentment.
— Ambrose Bierce
Art, n. This word has no definition.
— Ambrose Bierce
The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.
— Ambrose Bierce
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
— Ambrose Bierce
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
— Ambrose Bierce
Uncommon extension of the fear of death.
— Ambrose Bierce
Repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.
— Ambrose Bierce
An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.
— Ambrose Bierce
MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration.
— Ambrose Bierce
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
— Ambrose Bierce
A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
— Ambrose Bierce
Humor, like Death, has all seasons for his own.
— Ambrose Bierce
Unacquainted with grief, I knew not how to appraise my bereavement; I could not rightly estimate the strength of the stroke.
— Ambrose Bierce
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
— Ambrose Bierce
Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.
— Ambrose Bierce
MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
— Ambrose Bierce
He laughs best who laughs least.
— Ambrose Bierce
CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.
— Ambrose Bierce
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.
— Ambrose Bierce
BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.
— Ambrose Bierce
Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
— Ambrose Bierce
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
— Ambrose Bierce
Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
— Ambrose Bierce
Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
— Ambrose Bierce
DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.
— Ambrose Bierce
Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
— Ambrose Bierce
RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.
— Ambrose Bierce
BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.
— Ambrose Bierce
So I say a name, even if self-bestowed, is better than a number. In the register of the potter's field I shall soon have both. What wealth!
— Ambrose Bierce
When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.
— Ambrose Bierce
Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
— Ambrose Bierce
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
— Ambrose Bierce
PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
— Ambrose Bierce
Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
— Ambrose Bierce
TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.
— Ambrose Bierce
PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
— Ambrose Bierce
If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
— Ambrose Bierce
Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.
— Ambrose Bierce
Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters.
— Ambrose Bierce