Bed Funny Quotes: top 52 famous quotes about Bed Funny

Bed Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bed Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I finally got up around noon, after having decided that, as far as monogamous relationships go, I could probably do worse than marrying my bed. — Robyn Schneider

Just rolled out of bed."
"I can see that." His eyes swept over me. "You should roll around in your bed more often. — Veronica Blade

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther. — Rowan Atkinson

I must be alive," Gawain said hoarsely. "Dead doesn't hurt this much. — Gerald Morris

Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me. — Rachel Caine

We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry every night. Well, that was probably true. They were all on a diet. — Ronald Reagan

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome? — Frankie Boyle

So I went to bed, full, happy, and caring nothing for all the hurt of all the englished Welshmen that ever festered upon a proud land — Richard Llewellyn

me in bed - with a honeymoon present. Some of them were small, some were funny jokes, and some were extravagant, but every present came straight — James Patterson

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. — Groucho Marx

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry. — Henny Youngman

You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary. — Daniel Tosh

Being fed, and having a soft bed, and other people being in charge, seemed the most wonderful prospect in the world at that moment. — J.K. Rowling

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk. — Bernard Manning

Well, you're a lucky man," Will said, as Nathan began to steer him out. "She certainly gives a good bed bath. — Jojo Moyes

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed. — C.S. Lewis

There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed. — Neneh Cherry

My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars? — Bob Saget

If you go to Bed Bath & Beyond without a coupon, people will wonder if you're OK. — John Pinette

In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Once they call you a Latin Lover, you're in real trouble. Women expect an Oscar performance in bed. — Marcello Mastroianni

Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer. — Charles M. Schulz

Afore me! It is so very late,
That we may call it early by and by. — William Shakespeare

Pie in a bed of raw onions. Human skull looking put-upon.
Howl — Diana Wynne Jones

Wendy, Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars. — J.M. Barrie

Look under your bed and you will know the greatest thief in your room. — ABC

Nice guys finish last but that's what makes them good in bed. — Nicholas M. Bugden

Go to bed, Cammie," my aunt ordered, sounding exactly like my mother.
"No," I said, sounding exactly like my aunt. — Ally Carter

Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin - I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I had no idea what time it was, but I felt boneless and it would take an act of God to get me out of this bed. Or chocolate. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back. — Chic Murray

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was. — Mitch Hedberg

The lot of the bride
to be wed before bed
desired until rotten.
The lot of the author
to be read before bed
admired then forgotten. — Roman Payne

I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times. — Jack Whitehall

Good night. Don't let the boogeyman bite"

"Mindy, there is no boogeyman, "I said as I snuggled in to bed, " I hauled Carl in years ago. — Kate Danley

Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me! — Jim Carrey

This man dresses like an unmade bed. — Henny Youngman

You win, you dirty evil butt-munch. I'll never not let you stay over again. Now let's go back to bed. — Ethan Day

Foley looks like an un-made bed. — Jerry Lawler

If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the beginning of the day. — H. L. Hunt

If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen> — Foster "Raul" Mkhabele

Lying in bed with Johnny Depp sussing out which males are what kind of pet from their clothes. — Diane Messidoro

Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane. — Jim Gaffigan

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two. — Ray Romano

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour. — Frank Carson

It's four A.M.! Who goes to bed this early!? — Jeff Hirsch

When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight. — Jim Gaffigan

She says you're not awake until you're actually out of bed and standing up. — Richelle Mead

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. — Phyllis Diller

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds. — Steven Wright

Well, you are a wolf, I don't think it's a good idea to start the habit of you sleeping in the bed, you know, with all the shedding and what-not. — Quinn Loftis