Age Humor Quotes: top 92 famous quotes about Age Humor

Age Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Age Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

From an early age onward, it was said that 'Ingmar has no sense of humor.' — Ingmar Bergman

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. — H.L. Mencken

New Age eccentricity could only take you so far before you wandered into mentally ill territory. — M.M. McLaughlin

We should just bomb them back to the Stone Age. — Mal Peet

Play the age as comedy if you want to get away with murder. — James Agee

When I am old and addled I will make coronets like Cad, that have nothing to do with history, but represent the whimsy and cobwebs in my brain. — Sherri Baldy

As for the age of electronics, Selena, I really don't want to get personal with something that comes with a warning label and batteries. (Grace) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'm forty-two," he said. "That's eighty-four in musician years. — Monica Wood

Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go. — David C. Holley

He's half my ex-husband's age, but twice as energetic when we have sex. And twice as grateful afterwards. — Barbara Taylor Bradford

Walk your own path and be yourself — Joanne Nussbaum

I was only twenty-five, much to young to die. Probably about the right age to become a complete hypochondriac, however. — Kylie Scott

At a certain age almost all the questions a person asks him or herself are really just about one thing: how should you live your life? — Fredrik Backman

We don't ask when people age out of singing, or eating ice cream; why would we stop making love? — Ashton Applewhite

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. — Ogden Nash

One should never make one's debut with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an interest to one's old age. — Oscar Wilde

I am a great believe that your humor is developed at a very early age and it doesn't ever change. — James Bobin

It's easy to be cynical in this day and age, but I believe that everyone has some good in them. And by good, I'm referring to "good cholesterol". — John Hartnett

There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly. — Richard Armour

Too young to care; Too old to change. — Hafsa Shah

Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. — Charles M. Schulz

Avoid the stage of old age sit in the audience, it's all the rage — Benny Bellamacina

Sleeping with a man half your age can be exhausting, but if it's too much for him you can always find a younger man. — Barbara Taylor Bradford

When I came out of anesthesia, I wanted two things: my husband and my dog. They wouldn't let the dog in the recovery room. — Sandy Nathan

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to. — Chic Murray

Take care of the elderly people. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom — George Carlin

Peter, you're twelve years old. I'm ten. They have a word for people our age. They call us children and they treat us like mice. — Orson Scott Card

Moderation is the key to old age and the doorway to boredom — Benny Bellamacina

Young men speak about the future because they have no past, and old men speak of the past because they have no future. — Boyd K. Packer

When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all. — Lois Greiman

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. — Mark Twain

Turns out, most girls would rather put on lip gloss than play with sand toads. — Jenny Lundquist

I've always felt comfortable amongst the horrors. I married your uncle Gerard, after all. — Melika Dannese Lux

You could have heard a bee fluff — S.W. Lothian

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. — P.G. Wodehouse

You see, at young age I had known how bitter taste like and it all started with a cup of brewed coffee. — Ymatruz

Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either. — Lois Greiman

We can never skip growing old. As we grow older, we understand old things and things of old times better! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Once we were young, now we are adult. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Email is the scourge of our age,' said Silvia. 'Email and cancer. — Olivia Sudjic

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard there's nothing you can do. — Golda Meir

She looks like a very young old person, or a very old young person; but then, she's looked that way ever since she was two. — Margaret Atwood

Mamma says she is quite certain that "how old is too old?" is not a question known to the Lord. — Annette Bridges

I'm not senile," I snapped. "If I burn the house down it will be on purpose. — Margaret Atwood

Two or three years from now thirty won't look so senile. — Warner Fabian

I Didn't Ask to Be a Senior Citizen (I Was Drafted) — Doug Jensen

Speak kindly to with adult women as you would to your mother. — Lailah Gifty Akita

She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years. — J.B. Priestley

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point. — Doug Stanhope

How young can you die of old age? — Steven Wright

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. — Robert Quillen

It must be quite a shock to suddenly find out you're pregnant, seventeen times over - at your age, too. — Lois McMaster Bujold

Plans?" he snorted. "I'm ninety-three years old! Who in tarnation makes plans at my age? I could stop breathin' any minute now. — Linda Howard

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. — Steven Wright

It is perhaps life's greatest accomplishment to live to old age, maintaining one's wits, one's sense of humor, one's health, and one's charm. — Yehudi Menuhin

My mother always used to say, The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana. — Betty White

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby ... — Erma Bombeck

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Treasure the beauty of youthful life and the wisdom of adulthood. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Old age is not just for grown up's — Benny Bellamacina

By gad, is that you, Ainswood? I haven't seen you in a dog's age. How's the gout? Still troubling you? — Loretta Chase

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. — Don Marquis

It's in a can. It's good forever. — Renata Suerth

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. — Ellen DeGeneres

Never get old. It's a ridiculously uncomfortable process Ath Creator should be made to find a cure for. — Janny Wurts

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other. — Bauvard

I wish I was 18 again, not that I don't like the age I'm at right now, but at 18yrs old I knew everything! — Michael Nuccio

REFUSAL
When you refuse
to tell your weight
and age,
people know
you're fat and old. — Chocolate Waters

We laughed harder than the humor deserved, which goes to show you no matter your age, you're closer to adolescence than you think. — Lorna Landvik

Thirty
the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Face it girls. I'm older and I have more insurance. — Fannie Flagg

You aren't really old until nothing is fun enough to make you forget the weather. — Robert Quillen

Wearing glasses for reading meant surrendering to old age without the least bit of a fight. — Andrea Camilleri

DARK AGE LOSERS PROBLY USED TURNIPS FOR IPHONES LOL!!!! — Charlie Brooker

I could only approach girls half my age, so I never brought any girl home. Mom thought I was disciplined, but the truth is that I was deprived. — Nick Nwaogu

Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good. — Jim Butcher

Do you remember what I forgot? — Erica Goros

Self-awareness: it is one of the chief bonuses of advancing age. It is our consolation prize. — Louise Doughty

We were all so young that there were no lines on our faces to read between. — Phyllis Theroux

Fortunately for Alan's sake, Frank preferred beauty over age so I had no need to defend my territory. — Nicole Castle

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. — George Burns

Men are most virile and attractive between the ages of 35 and 55. Under 35 a man has too much to learn, and I don't have time to teach him. — Hedy Lamarr

I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety. — Arthur Conan Doyle

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age. I missed it coming and going. — J.B. Priestley

The bonds of friendship dwindle with age, Oliver. But a little blackmail lasts forever. — Stephen Hunt

You are old and grey," she teased.
"And you're never too immortal for a spanking," he shot back ... — Dianna Hardy

You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

At least in the Gilded Age age they gilded shit. — Josh Bazell

Pheromones didn't care about tomorrow. They didn't care about education or employment or age. — Tracy Brogan

No one under the age of eighteen needs a cell phone unless they're a surgeon, a drug dealer, or a prostitute. — Paul Rudnick

You know what it's like, finding eight middle-aged guys having tantric sex with ostriches? — Warren Ellis