Penn Jillette quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Penn Jillette

Penn Jillette Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Penn Jillette on Wise Famous Quotes.

One of the strongest feelings you can get in life
one of the most rewarding feelings
is the feeling of an "Aha, I finally understand."

Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around.

I don't speak for all Libertarians any more than Sean Penn speaks for all Democrats.

I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.

The vast majority of the world knows there's no reason to circumcise. Someone should tell the doctors.

I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment.

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

Everybody prefers to see a nut - they're more fascinating.

I'm totally clean and sober my whole life.

Charities are really good. To a certain extent, the ones you pick are arbitrary.

If you want to turn out an atheist child, unconditional love constantly is a good way to do it.

I love the idea that horror and fear is a celebration of health and life.

A two-party system is way too good for those two parties.

Asking someone else to do something immoral is immoral.

You can't allow people freedom and then change your mind when the things don't go your way.

TV networks are dying. The death throes of religion give us jihads. The death throes of television give us reality shows.

I'm very happy being big and effeminate.

Technology is run by sex, because it's very important to people, both technology and sex.

If there's something you really want to believe, that's what you should question the most.

Fear is the politicians dance partner.

Freedom means the freedom to be stupid, and that's what I want.

When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing.

If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won't be around drugs and alcohol at all.

Atheism is the absence of religion. We don't really need atheism. We just need to get rid of religion.

You should think about the world and feel about your heart.

I love nuts. I'm for nuts. I am nuts.

It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.'

I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.

Thou shalt not take anything on faith

For better or worse, in the 21st century, reality shows are the variety show.

I love the feeling of shredded wheat. I love healthy bird food with a fun-to-eat feel. Then you spray them with sugar, and I'm there.

I don't know what's best for other people.

I have a very specific definition of censorship. Censorship must be done by the government or it's not censorship.

Direct confrontation, direct conversation is real respect. And it's amazing how many people get that.

I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight.

When you tell other people to do stuff they don't know how to do, they tend to freak out.

Someone who is a good person should have no fear of the government whatsoever.

My mom, if you asked her if she was interested in whether or not people gambled, would say no.

'Celebrity Apprentice' has more integrity and is the most straightforward show I've ever seen.

We have to fight for the freedom to be stupid, and smoking is one of the best ways to fight for your freedom, to be just as stupid as you can be.

I think people under age 55 come to Vegas with a certain sense of irony.

I'm not misunderstood. I am brash. I make my living being brash.

How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize?

Bob Barr is not crazy enough for my taste.

Only Atheists have morals, the religious have reward and punishment. That's not morality, that's sucking up.

I believe in individual rights so much that I don't like any sort of 'what's good for the cause'-type questions.

Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.

There should be an ease and clarity to anything that's real and from the heart. Things that are true shouldn't have tricks.

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

Comedy is taken care of by a free market.

'Moxie' is a name that was created by an American for the first national soft drink and then went on to mean chutzpah, and that's nice.

Modern American magic, late 20th century magic, is tremendously disrespectful of the audience.

Hypocrisy is annoying but not evil. Someone who says one thing and does another has doubled their chances of being half right.

I'm totally against straight marriage - even though I'm married. I don't think heterosexual marriage is any of the government's business.

Has any non-dipshit man ever used the word "ladies" not followed by the word "room"?

In reality, many people let go of religion later in life.

You can't stop insane people from doing insane things with insane laws. That's insane!

If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.

The whole world is pretending the breakthrough is in technology. The bottleneck is really in art.

Obama is a great leader. He can fire people up and get them to do what he wants.

I'm an amazing mama's boy.

I don't believe the majority always knows what's best for everyone.

You have to be careful as a libertarian because you can sound very Republican.

The reason I'm an I.B.M.-type guy today is that I really needed a laptop back in 1986, and I just couldn't wait for the Powerbook.

I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.

How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do.

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.

I grew up as a Christian. I suppose at some level I wanted to believe someone was watching over me.

Freedom means the right to be stupid.

I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

All David Blaine is is a good-looking magician.

Luck is statistics taken personally.

Trey Parker did 'Book of Mormon.' It's the best Broadway show I've ever seen. He does 'South Park.' It's wonderful.

We knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that.

Exploration of space is worth it because humans need to explore. Knowledge is always good, and it's a really cool thing to see.

If entertainment ran grocery stores, we'd NEVER get oil cured olives or blue cheese, it would be JUST Coke.

I don't question things that go against what I believe very much. But boy, the stuff that I really want to believe, I really question a lot.

I get along so much better with fundamentalist Christians than I do with wishy-washy liberals, who want everyone to get along.

Every poker player is smarter than me.

Mentally ill people come from all belief systems.

I never wanted to be a magician. I never wanted to be a comedian. I never wanted to be onstage.

Better to be uneducated than educated by your government.

We need a president who realizes that there's no government business in show business.

The highest ideals are human intelligence, creativity and love. Respect these above all.

The definition of a stupid thing is something that if you do everything right, you still get hurt. Fire-eating and love are stupid things.

We celebrities are desperate pigs.

Everyday is an atheist holiday.

If you spend a lot of time lying to people, you think a lot about what the truth means.

I've been fired from a situational comedy with a script they wrote specifically for me because of my voice.

Never ascribe to conspiracy that which can be attributed to ignorance.

When someone is trying to interpret something for you, they always have an agenda.

I have no evidence that libertarianism leads to a better life. I just think it is morally right.

My love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things look on the screen.

People like Bill Maher, who brags about being a cynic, it sickens me. I am the least cynical person I know, and I am very, very skeptical.

I don't want everyone to read anything; I like us all reading different books.

Magic is the Special Olympics of entertainment.

I have more contact with people who consume, for lack of a better word, my product than any other performers.

You don't have to be brave or a saint, a martyr, or even very smart to be an atheist. All you have to be able to say is "I don't know".

As much as I disagreed with every second of 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' the fact that it is out made me jump for joy.

This I believe: I believe there is no God.