Ogden Nash Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Ogden Nash

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Ogden Nash quotes: But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father. But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father.
Ogden Nash quotes: You can take it as understood,That your luck changes only if it's good. You can take it as understood,
That your luck changes only if it's good.
Ogden Nash quotes: No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed. No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.
Ogden Nash quotes: But all ladies think they weigh too much. But all ladies think they weigh too much.
Ogden Nash quotes: In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel. In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.
Ogden Nash quotes: Too clever is dumb. Too clever is dumb.
Ogden Nash quotes: It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,That lays eggs under your skin. It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,
That lays eggs under your skin.
Ogden Nash quotes: The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you? The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you?
Ogden Nash quotes: Man is a victim of dopeIn the incurable form of hope! Man is a victim of dope
In the incurable form of hope!
Ogden Nash quotes: The song of canariesNever varies,And when they're moultingThey're pretty revolting. The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they're moulting
They're pretty revolting.
Ogden Nash quotes: Time is like the ocean, always there, always different. Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.
Ogden Nash quotes: A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus. A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.
Ogden Nash quotes: Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot. Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
Ogden Nash quotes: Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes! Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!
Ogden Nash quotes: Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world. Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.
Ogden Nash quotes: I think in terms of rhyme, and have since I was six years old, I think in terms of rhyme, and have since I was six years old,
Ogden Nash quotes: And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs. And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.
Ogden Nash quotes: Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road. Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.
Ogden Nash quotes: It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it. It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.
Ogden Nash quotes: A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Ogden Nash quotes: No man is greater than his respect for sleep. No man is greater than his respect for sleep.
Ogden Nash quotes: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash quotes: Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long. Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.
Ogden Nash quotes: I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament. I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.
Ogden Nash quotes: Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
Ogden Nash quotes: ADVENTURES OF ISABELIsabel ADVENTURES OF ISABEL
Isabel
Ogden Nash quotes: Too much Chablis can make you whablis. Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
Ogden Nash quotes: Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility? Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?
Ogden Nash quotes: Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it. Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.
Ogden Nash quotes: Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways. Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.
Ogden Nash quotes: Some primal termite knocked on wood.And tasted it, and found it good.And that is why your Cousin MayFell through the parlor floor today. Some primal termite knocked on wood.
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
Ogden Nash quotes: Professional men, they have no cares;Whatever happens, they get theirs. Professional men, they have no cares;
Whatever happens, they get theirs.
Ogden Nash quotes: Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch. Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
Ogden Nash quotes: I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew. I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
Ogden Nash quotes: Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Ogden Nash quotes: Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around. Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
Ogden Nash quotes: There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction. There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.
Ogden Nash quotes: One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with. One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.
Ogden Nash quotes: And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more. And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
Ogden Nash quotes: To maintain your marriage brimming, with really like in the wedding cup, anytime you are incorrect, admit it each time you're proper, shut up. To maintain your marriage brimming, with really like in the wedding cup, anytime you are incorrect, admit it each time you're proper, shut up.
Ogden Nash quotes: He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance. He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.
Ogden Nash quotes: You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Ogden Nash quotes: Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches. Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.
Ogden Nash quotes: All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Ogden Nash quotes: A dog's best friend is his illiteracy. A dog's best friend is his illiteracy.
Ogden Nash quotes: When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next. When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next.
Ogden Nash quotes: No, you never get any funOut of the things you haven't done. No, you never get any fun
Out of the things you haven't done.
Ogden Nash quotes: A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
Ogden Nash quotes: My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean
Ogden Nash quotes: Where there is a monster, there is a miracle. Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
Ogden Nash quotes: Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it. Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.
Ogden Nash quotes: Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you? Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
Ogden Nash quotes: People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Ogden Nash quotes: Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money? Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
Ogden Nash quotes: Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash quotes: I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Ogden Nash quotes: THE GRACKLEThe THE GRACKLE
The
Ogden Nash quotes: Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance. Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.
Ogden Nash quotes: The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Ogden Nash quotes: The burnt child, urged by rankling ire, Can hardly wait to get back at the fire. The burnt child, urged by rankling ire, Can hardly wait to get back at the fire.
Ogden Nash quotes: Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right
Ogden Nash quotes: One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it. One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
Ogden Nash quotes: Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.