Ogden Nash Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Ogden Nash on Wise Famous Quotes.
My fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What's he there for?
The only answer i can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.
I often ask me, What's he there for?
The only answer i can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon.
Let others say his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the Pig.
Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon.
Let others say his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the Pig.
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.
If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.
The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.
He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.
To maintain your marriage brimming, with really like in the wedding cup, anytime you are incorrect, admit it each time you're proper, shut up.
Some primal termite knocked on wood.
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean
I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.
And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.
Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you?
No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.
One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.
There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.
Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.
Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.
And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.