Matthew Norman Quotes

Top 35 wise famous quotes and sayings by Matthew Norman

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Matthew Norman quotes: Never trust someone who isn't miserable at least half of the time. Never trust someone who isn't miserable at least half of the time.
Matthew Norman quotes: Suspect scotch is something you have to convince yourself to enjoy, like sushi or the last few Radiohead albums, but I can't deny the result is nice. Suspect scotch is something you have to convince yourself to enjoy, like sushi or the last few Radiohead albums, but I can't deny the result is nice.
Matthew Norman quotes: We hold on to the shitty things the tightest, for some reason. And We hold on to the shitty things the tightest, for some reason. And
Matthew Norman quotes: Significant thins shouldn't begin or end at Applebee's. Significant thins shouldn't begin or end at Applebee's.
Matthew Norman quotes: It's probably unhealthy to miss a life that never actually existed - to It's probably unhealthy to miss a life that never actually existed - to
Matthew Norman quotes: It's like the television equivalent of one of those cymbal-banging monkey toys being duct-taped to your forehead. It's like the television equivalent of one of those cymbal-banging monkey toys being duct-taped to your forehead.
Matthew Norman quotes: Eating with children at a restaurant is like eating with a live grenade. It's going to explode every time. You just don't know when. Eating with children at a restaurant is like eating with a live grenade. It's going to explode every time. You just don't know when.
Matthew Norman quotes: Whoa," I say. "Look how tall he is." "Actors are always midgets in person," says Brandon, "But writers ... they're giants. Whoa," I say. "Look how tall he is." "Actors are always midgets in person," says Brandon, "But writers ... they're giants.
Matthew Norman quotes: Do you ever stop talking?" I say. "Seriously, it's like you have a superarticulate form of Tourette syndrome. Do you ever stop talking?" I say. "Seriously, it's like you have a superarticulate form of Tourette syndrome.
Matthew Norman quotes: I'm comfortable with who I am," I say, which is a funny thing to say while shaming my own body in a full-length mirror. "Shut I'm comfortable with who I am," I say, which is a funny thing to say while shaming my own body in a full-length mirror. "Shut
Matthew Norman quotes: The captain of a ship can run a great ship, but he can't do anything about the tides. The captain of a ship can run a great ship, but he can't do anything about the tides.
Matthew Norman quotes: Generally speaking, it's difficult not to be at least mildly terrified of a girl who might, at any moment, take her shirt off. Generally speaking, it's difficult not to be at least mildly terrified of a girl who might, at any moment, take her shirt off.
Matthew Norman quotes: I instantly like people who laugh at my jokes. It's a weakness of mine. I instantly like people who laugh at my jokes. It's a weakness of mine.
Matthew Norman quotes: I have to go back home for a while." "Ohio?" "Omaha." "Right. Omaha. Why? I have to go back home for a while." "Ohio?" "Omaha." "Right. Omaha. Why?
Matthew Norman quotes: Not sure, but I tell her that it does because I'm Midwestern and agreeable. She Not sure, but I tell her that it does because I'm Midwestern and agreeable. She
Matthew Norman quotes: Right when you find yourself not thinking about her at all, there she'll be, right at the end of the story to fuck with your head one last time. She Right when you find yourself not thinking about her at all, there she'll be, right at the end of the story to fuck with your head one last time. She
Matthew Norman quotes: Are all our parents, collectively, fucked up? Have they always been fucked up, and it just takes us until our own adulthood to figure that out? "I Are all our parents, collectively, fucked up? Have they always been fucked up, and it just takes us until our own adulthood to figure that out? "I
Matthew Norman quotes: Parenting is mostly bribery . . . and yelling. Parenting is mostly bribery . . . and yelling.
Matthew Norman quotes: You ever notice that like seventy-five percent of the dudes in America look like the bad guy in The Karate Kid?" I say. "Don't You ever notice that like seventy-five percent of the dudes in America look like the bad guy in The Karate Kid?" I say. "Don't
Matthew Norman quotes: In my career, I've found that only annoying people knock on open doors. In my career, I've found that only annoying people knock on open doors.
Matthew Norman quotes: We're all damaged. Every single beautiful, stupid, precious one of us. Damaged, damaged, damaged. We're all damaged. Every single beautiful, stupid, precious one of us. Damaged, damaged, damaged.
Matthew Norman quotes: They're all about forty, I'd guess, but they could pass for thirty in that way that handsome gay men can seemingly defy the basic rules of nature. They're all about forty, I'd guess, but they could pass for thirty in that way that handsome gay men can seemingly defy the basic rules of nature.
Matthew Norman quotes: When you're having sex again, it makes you wonder why you weren't before. What could possibly have been bad enough to make you stop doing THAT? When you're having sex again, it makes you wonder why you weren't before. What could possibly have been bad enough to make you stop doing THAT?
Matthew Norman quotes: Maybe that's just what moving on is, not getting over, but skipping over. Maybe that's just what moving on is, not getting over, but skipping over.
Matthew Norman quotes: You look good," I tell my reflection. "Hot?" But this last part comes out with a question mark at the end. I've never been good at sales. You look good," I tell my reflection. "Hot?" But this last part comes out with a question mark at the end. I've never been good at sales.
Matthew Norman quotes: I'm like a poker player, bluffing with whatever cards equal a really shitty hand. I should mention that I have no fucking idea how to play poker. "You I'm like a poker player, bluffing with whatever cards equal a really shitty hand. I should mention that I have no fucking idea how to play poker. "You
Matthew Norman quotes: I was modeling sunglasses for a while, but that got kinda shady. No I was modeling sunglasses for a while, but that got kinda shady. No
Matthew Norman quotes: If my penis were a writer/director, it would be Woody Allen - small, neurotic, and, frankly, hit or miss. If my penis were a writer/director, it would be Woody Allen - small, neurotic, and, frankly, hit or miss.
Matthew Norman quotes: All the stuff she says on the radio. It's just fear. The world is leaving people like her behind, and it scares the shit out of her. All the stuff she says on the radio. It's just fear. The world is leaving people like her behind, and it scares the shit out of her.
Matthew Norman quotes: caffeine-infused tsunami of words. caffeine-infused tsunami of words.
Matthew Norman quotes: giant hard drive in my head, so I'm forced to obsess over it all like giant hard drive in my head, so I'm forced to obsess over it all like
Matthew Norman quotes: Actually, the first time I saw one in real life, I thought of the Great Pit of Carkoon in Return of the Jedi." "OK, Actually, the first time I saw one in real life, I thought of the Great Pit of Carkoon in Return of the Jedi." "OK,