![Judith Martin quotes: [after the death of a loved one] It is when there is nothing more to be done that the reality of the loss often hits with full force.](http://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/judith-martin-quotes-70393.jpg "Judith Martin quotes: [after the death of a loved one] It is when there is nothing more to be done that the reality of the loss often hits with full force.")
Hypocrisy is not generally a social sin, but a virtue. 
The way one was brought up isn't an excuse for rude behavior. 
A general rule of etiquette is that one apologizes for the unfortunate occurrence, but the unthinkable is unmentionable. 
A small wedding is not necessarily one to which very few people are invited. It is one to which the person you are addressing is not invited. 
There is nothing like a good friend to help you out when you are not in trouble. 
Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes. 
Manners require showing consideration of all human beings, not just the ones to whom one is close. 
If you can't be kind, at least be vague. 
Email is very informal, a memo. But I find that not signing off or not having a salutation bothers me. 
What is Thanksgiving without a nutty relative? 
If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached. 
Fairness does not consist so much of everybody's doing the same thing, but of everybody's being willing to do something that others don't want to do. 
Appearing to pay attention when someone is speaking is one of the cornerstones of real social interaction. 
Part of the skill of saying no is to shut up afterward and not babble on, offering material for an argument. 
When a society abandons its ideals just because most people can't live up to them, behavior gets very ugly indeed. 
Greece is a good place for rebirths. 
Try not to annoy your relatives unnecessarily. 
Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards. 
Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers. 
When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art. 
My children did not go through a stage of being rude to their parents. I'm sorry if that sounds incredible. 
A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful. 
Being polite does not mean being mummified. 
Nowadays, you form your beliefs to fit your behavior, not the other way around. 
The etiquette question that troubles so many fastidious people New Year's Day is: How am I ever going to face those people again? 
Charming villains have always had a decided social advantage over well-meaning people who chew with their mouths open.
When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable. 
Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette. 
For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one. 
I try to behave myself, and I succeed. 
The stress of making small talk with in-laws is called being part of a family. 
Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet. 
Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one. 
You don't want to look too chic at a Washington party or people will think you don't have a job worth losing. 
Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough. 
Everybody's an art critic. 
Sometimes we do things a certain way just because that is the way we do things. 
Protocol is etiquette with a government expense account. 
Generosity and gratitude are inseparably linked. 
You should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business, when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval. 
There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class. 
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. 
When someone has tried to please you, it is rude, as well as disheartening, to respond by announcing that the effort was a failure. 
Everyone old enough to have a secret is entitled to have some place to keep it. 
Life is full of wonderful passions that come and go over the years, but the only one that will never let you down is reading. 
You think death is any better an excuse for desertion than any other? 
People will say, 'Seventy isn't old, it's middle-aged,' and I think, middle of what - 140? 
We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them. 