Josh Stern Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Josh Stern

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Josh Stern Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Josh Stern on Wise Famous Quotes.

Josh Stern quotes: A watched pot never boils ... but it does develop paranoia A watched pot never boils ... but it does develop paranoia
Josh Stern quotes: To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it
Josh Stern quotes: It doesn't really matter if you're right wing or left wing ... as long you're delicious It doesn't really matter if you're right wing or left wing ... as long you're delicious
Josh Stern quotes: Don't take me under your wing and tell me that scent is duck sauce Don't take me under your wing and tell me that scent is duck sauce
Josh Stern quotes: Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you're exhaling Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you're exhaling
Josh Stern quotes: Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert
Josh Stern quotes: Come Hell or High Water usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub Come Hell or High Water usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub
Josh Stern quotes: I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first
Josh Stern quotes: If you're not part of the problem, you're not ambitious enough If you're not part of the problem, you're not ambitious enough
Josh Stern quotes: I might feel ten feet tall, but I wouldn't touch you with my pole I might feel ten feet tall, but I wouldn't touch you with my pole
Josh Stern quotes: Having a life expectancy is just part of being self-entitled Having a life expectancy is just part of being self-entitled
Josh Stern quotes: My recipe for success: Have someone else do it My recipe for success: Have someone else do it
Josh Stern quotes: Waiting for something to fall into your lap is a good way to get goosed Waiting for something to fall into your lap is a good way to get goosed
Josh Stern quotes: When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time
Josh Stern quotes: Don't you wish some people came with a silencer? Don't you wish some people came with a silencer?
Josh Stern quotes: There's a fine mascara line between genius and insanity There's a fine mascara line between genius and insanity
Josh Stern quotes: I wish I had flaps of extra skin connecting my arms & legs like a Flying Squirrel & then spend my days at the park jumping from tree to tree I wish I had flaps of extra skin connecting my arms & legs like a Flying Squirrel & then spend my days at the park jumping from tree to tree
Josh Stern quotes: As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father? As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?
Josh Stern quotes: When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door
Josh Stern quotes: Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity
Josh Stern quotes: Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window
Josh Stern quotes: I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass
Josh Stern quotes: Trashy Women should probably exclusively date Garbage Men Trashy Women should probably exclusively date Garbage Men
Josh Stern quotes: I always fall butter side down I always fall butter side down
Josh Stern quotes: An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet
Josh Stern quotes: Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs
Josh Stern quotes: There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident
Josh Stern quotes: True ambition is trying to paint yourself out of a corner True ambition is trying to paint yourself out of a corner
Josh Stern quotes: You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order
Josh Stern quotes: I like my coffee like I like myself ... making rustling noises inside a burlap bag I like my coffee like I like myself ... making rustling noises inside a burlap bag
Josh Stern quotes: The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes
Josh Stern quotes: Never wear a top hat and tails and bring a saw to a funeral Never wear a top hat and tails and bring a saw to a funeral
Josh Stern quotes: Hotness and Genius have the same byproduct: Insanity Hotness and Genius have the same byproduct: Insanity
Josh Stern quotes: Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable
Josh Stern quotes: While Sex without love is shallow, it's so profoundly uncomplicated While Sex without love is shallow, it's so profoundly uncomplicated
Josh Stern quotes: All the world's a stage and I'm just going through a phase All the world's a stage and I'm just going through a phase
Josh Stern quotes: it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong
Josh Stern quotes: I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear
Josh Stern quotes: I like gross generalizations ... I also like disgusting specifics! I like gross generalizations ... I also like disgusting specifics!
Josh Stern quotes: If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die ... mine will be wearing a trench coat If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die ... mine will be wearing a trench coat
Josh Stern quotes: Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks ... " Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks ... "
Josh Stern quotes: If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working
Josh Stern quotes: There is truth in wine, but you never see it listed in the ingredients on the label There is truth in wine, but you never see it listed in the ingredients on the label
Josh Stern quotes: If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse
Josh Stern quotes: If she can do the splits, the 5 second rule does not apply If she can do the splits, the 5 second rule does not apply
Josh Stern quotes: I have a keen sense of the oblivious I have a keen sense of the oblivious
Josh Stern quotes: Only the good die young'- especially when they're milk fed Only the good die young'- especially when they're milk fed
Josh Stern quotes: I hate cutting my wrists while shaving I hate cutting my wrists while shaving
Josh Stern quotes: You'll never know what psychopathic heights you're capable of, just lying there on the sofa You'll never know what psychopathic heights you're capable of, just lying there on the sofa
Josh Stern quotes: The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1 The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1
Josh Stern quotes: There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius
Josh Stern quotes: I'd rather be a nodding acquaintance, than a bobble head I'd rather be a nodding acquaintance, than a bobble head
Josh Stern quotes: Manners without sincerity, is called polite society Manners without sincerity, is called polite society
Josh Stern quotes: Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, give him some horns and he can be a Circus Seal act Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, give him some horns and he can be a Circus Seal act
Josh Stern quotes: If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith
Josh Stern quotes: If we are expected to show a gentle compassion for humanity, shouldn't we all have a wash care label sewn into each & everyone of us? If we are expected to show a gentle compassion for humanity, shouldn't we all have a wash care label sewn into each & everyone of us?
Josh Stern quotes: If you're going to walk down the aisle together, best to go single file If you're going to walk down the aisle together, best to go single file
Josh Stern quotes: If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody
Josh Stern quotes: It's not hard to fail ... it's hard to accept you failed ... but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing It's not hard to fail ... it's hard to accept you failed ... but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing
Josh Stern quotes: When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow
Josh Stern quotes: I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses
Josh Stern quotes: I try not to take things lying down, especially rectal thermometers I try not to take things lying down, especially rectal thermometers
Josh Stern quotes: If you live life on your own terms, people will definitely not understand you If you live life on your own terms, people will definitely not understand you
Josh Stern quotes: Revenge is a dish best served by a tennis racket Revenge is a dish best served by a tennis racket
Josh Stern quotes: things you bone, end up boning you things you bone, end up boning you
Josh Stern quotes: If Life is short, then mine is fat and balding also If Life is short, then mine is fat and balding also
Josh Stern quotes: It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late
Josh Stern quotes: Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity
Josh Stern quotes: Women, can't live with them, can't murder/suicide without them Women, can't live with them, can't murder/suicide without them
Josh Stern quotes: 'Having' Your Cake ... a little perverted ... 'Eating' it too ... a lot perverted! 'Having' Your Cake ... a little perverted ...
'Eating' it too ... a lot perverted!
Josh Stern quotes: Rome wasn't built in a day, except in Lego Land Rome wasn't built in a day, except in Lego Land
Josh Stern quotes: Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings
Josh Stern quotes: When you enter the Lions Den, it's best not to go empty-handed or you'll probably leave that way When you enter the Lions Den, it's best not to go empty-handed or you'll probably leave that way
Josh Stern quotes: Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends
Josh Stern quotes: Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it
Josh Stern quotes: Death is life's way of telling you, you've been recalled Death is life's way of telling you, you've been recalled
Josh Stern quotes: To acknowledge the absurdly surreal is the clarity to embrace life as it is, not as we desire it- what you do with this information, hell if I know To acknowledge the absurdly surreal is the clarity to embrace life as it is, not as we desire it- what you do with this information, hell if I know
Josh Stern quotes: I love shark week, all kids swim for free I love shark week, all kids swim for free
Josh Stern quotes: If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried
Josh Stern quotes: Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything ... .but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything ... .but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco
Josh Stern quotes: Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce ... ? Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce ... ?
Josh Stern quotes: In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips? In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?
Josh Stern quotes: When she says 'I've never done this before she just means with you When she says 'I've never done this before she just means with you
Josh Stern quotes: Flying is simple. Hitting the ground is hard Flying is simple. Hitting the ground is hard
Josh Stern quotes: Camus said 'Love Lasts or Love Burns'. I want a Lasting Burn-just nothing requiring a series of painful treatments by a rubber-gloved Doctor Camus said 'Love Lasts or Love Burns'. I want a Lasting Burn-just nothing requiring a series of painful treatments by a rubber-gloved Doctor
Josh Stern quotes: The line forms on the right, but I prefer the chaos on the left The line forms on the right, but I prefer the chaos on the left
Josh Stern quotes: I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose
Josh Stern quotes: Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living
Josh Stern quotes: All great discoveries are made by opening up the changing room door All great discoveries are made by opening up the changing room door
Josh Stern quotes: The gene pool could use a deep end The gene pool could use a deep end
Josh Stern quotes: Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials ... I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials ... I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months
Josh Stern quotes: If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels ... If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels ...
Josh Stern quotes: If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you're lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway If you see the light at the end
of the tunnel, you're looking
through binoculars the wrong
way
Josh Stern quotes: Trying to balance chivalry with equality, I always open a door for a Lady ... then stick my foot out Trying to balance chivalry with equality, I always open a door for a Lady ... then stick my foot out
Josh Stern quotes: If America runs on Dunkin', do I detect a slight limp? If America runs on Dunkin', do I detect a slight limp?
Josh Stern quotes: I started to enjoy the regal sport of cockfighting ... but I'm still having trouble getting the hang of windmilling the bayonet I started to enjoy the regal sport of cockfighting ... but I'm still having trouble getting the hang of windmilling the bayonet
Josh Stern quotes: The only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner The only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner
Josh Stern quotes: The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code
Josh Stern quotes: I hate pulling out ... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing ... I hate pulling out ... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing ...
Josh Stern quotes: You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds

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