Josh Billings quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Josh Billings

Josh Billings Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Josh Billings on Wise Famous Quotes.

I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine.

There's tons of people that spend a lot time watching their well being, they have not acquired time to take pleasure in it.

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn.

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

It is a great art to be superior to others without letting them know it.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of job.

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Theres not a lot of good humor in medicine, but theres a lot of medicine in good humor.

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

Where religion is a trade, morality is a merchandise.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

Faith is the soul riding at anchor.

Biography is the best form of history.

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

A wise man never enjoys himself so much, nor a fool so little, as when alone.

When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.

Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced had nothing to say on the subject

There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel.

Pyrotechnically considered, [laughing] is the fire-works of the soul.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense

The best creed we can have is charity toward the creeds of others.

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

But why discourse Upon the Virtues of the Horse? They are too numerous to tell Save when you have a Horse to Sell.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The dog that will follow everbody ain't worth a curse.

I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the time when I used to.

A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

It is easier to be virtuous than it is to appear so, and it pays better.

Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.

One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.

Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.

Nature makes all the noblemen; wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.

Dr. Holmes says, both wittily and truly, that crying widows are easiest consoled.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius

The unfortunate do not pity the unfortunate.

Silence is a still noise.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome.

Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness
when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

Rumor is a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it can pick up.

The less we know the more we suspect

It is easy to assume a habit; but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.

Too many individuals are like Shakespeare's definition of "echo,"
babbling gossips of the air.

Caution, though very often wasted is a good risk to take.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one.

Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.

Pride seems to be equally distributed; the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem to have it just alike.

Method is the arithmetic of success.

Fools carry their daggers in their open mouths.

[Science is] the literature of truth.

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise.

The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of; and that is judgment.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.

The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

There is no limit to the vanity of this world. Each spoke in the wheel thinks the whole strength of the wheel depends upon it.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

It's not what we don't know that prevents us from succeeding; it's what we know that just ain't so that is our greatest obstacle.

Pedantry is paraded knowledge.

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

Clothes form the intellect of the dandy.

Theory looks well on paper, but does not amount to anything without practice.

And now the lads and lasses, following the example of the birds, bill and coo together.

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

Man isn't a fool for his ignorance, but rather for believing things that are wrong.

It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.

There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing.

Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it.

Wise men have but few confidants, and cunning ones none.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Titles are valuable; they make us acquainted with many persons who otherwise would be lost among the rubbish.

The great art of writing is knowing when to stop.

As a general thing, an individual who is neat in his person is neat in his morals.

Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job.

A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.