Johnny Carson Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Johnny Carson
Johnny Carson Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Johnny Carson on Wise Famous Quotes.
![Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard. Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1987529.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1836442.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony. Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-541250.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist. Johnny Carson quotes: When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-2072711.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say Storms suck!! Johnny Carson quotes: Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say Storms suck!!](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1336844.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead. Johnny Carson quotes: Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-2137123.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over. Johnny Carson quotes: I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-621807.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. Johnny Carson quotes: I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1329095.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian. Johnny Carson quotes: Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1248474.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. Johnny Carson quotes: The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1654866.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: The good news is that the president gets another chance. The bad news is that he'll be two weeks older. Johnny Carson quotes: The good news is that the president gets another chance. The bad news is that he'll be two weeks older.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-558432.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Asked how he became a star, Mr. Carson once replied, I started in a gaseous state and then I cooled. Johnny Carson quotes: Asked how he became a star, Mr. Carson once replied, I started in a gaseous state and then I cooled.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1387460.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day. Johnny Carson quotes: Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1456946.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours. Johnny Carson quotes: I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1141767.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time. Johnny Carson quotes: I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1988748.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and the fact that I make money at it - big money - is a fine-and-dandy side fact. Johnny Carson quotes: I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and the fact that I make money at it - big money - is a fine-and-dandy side fact.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-190506.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked. Johnny Carson quotes: We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-267331.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. Johnny Carson quotes: The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-262546.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive. Johnny Carson quotes: I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-508668.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist? Johnny Carson quotes: Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1462452.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me. Johnny Carson quotes: Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1548719.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups. Johnny Carson quotes: It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-174518.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show. Johnny Carson quotes: As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1439983.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.' Johnny Carson quotes: Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1431369.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own? Johnny Carson quotes: How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1755978.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Find me any performer anywhere who isn't egocentric. You'd better believe you're good, or you've got no business being out there. Johnny Carson quotes: Find me any performer anywhere who isn't egocentric. You'd better believe you're good, or you've got no business being out there.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-17906.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age? Johnny Carson quotes: George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-2133730.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them. Johnny Carson quotes: I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-79758.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower. Johnny Carson quotes: Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1756129.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Desire! That's the one secret of every man's career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire. Johnny Carson quotes: Desire! That's the one secret of every man's career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1705573.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. Johnny Carson quotes: Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-617269.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. Johnny Carson quotes: I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-921630.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. Johnny Carson quotes: Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-889419.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money. Johnny Carson quotes: Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-751188.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them. Johnny Carson quotes: They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-291213.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples. Johnny Carson quotes: Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1388734.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. Johnny Carson quotes: If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1370513.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too. Johnny Carson quotes: Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-307646.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your Johnny Carson quotes: I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1297510.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives. Johnny Carson quotes: According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1238812.jpg)
![Johnny Carson quotes: I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you. Johnny Carson quotes: I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/johnny-carson-quotes-1399838.jpg)
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Johnny Carson
Discover top inspirational quotes from Johnny Carson on Wise Famous Quotes.