Jimmy Fallon quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Jimmy Fallon on Wise Famous Quotes.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things - so we had a surrogate.

My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things - so we had a surrogate.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I can't believe there are so many people who aren't us.

I can't believe there are so many people who aren't us.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.

I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial.

A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: This week Biden said that he will decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or the summer. Then he said, 'Whichever comes first.'

This week Biden said that he will decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or the summer. Then he said, 'Whichever comes first.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: No-one gets beaten to death quite like Hilary Swank

No-one gets beaten to death quite like Hilary Swank

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.

I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Starbucks is planning to close down all the restrooms in its New York locations. Which explains the most popular new Starbucks order: An empty cup.

Starbucks is planning to close down all the restrooms in its New York locations. Which explains the most popular new Starbucks order: An empty cup.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.

The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Apparently President Obama's favorite cocktail is a martini. When asked how he likes it, he said, 'On the beach, in Hawaii, in 2017.'

Apparently President Obama's favorite cocktail is a martini. When asked how he likes it, he said, 'On the beach, in Hawaii, in 2017.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you ... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

Thank you ... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: They got a great performance from me. I was happy.

They got a great performance from me. I was happy.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights.

President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.

When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Apparently, the Obamas chose New York City because they've gotten so used to people trying to break into their house.

Apparently, the Obamas chose New York City because they've gotten so used to people trying to break into their house.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It.'

I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you ... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.

Thank you ... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he done something about this?'

Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he done something about this?'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.

Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.'

The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I love Nashville. I've been here so many times ... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's just so much fun.

I love Nashville. I've been here so many times ... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's just so much fun.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.

Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you ... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.

Thank you ... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.'

This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.

Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.

It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself.

You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.

Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.

I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.

Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I remember people saying to us, "You're too nice. Hollywood is going to eat you up and spit you out." I never listened to them.

I remember people saying to us, "You're too nice. Hollywood is going to eat you up and spit you out." I never listened to them.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I'm not a big baseball fan, to be honest.

I'm not a big baseball fan, to be honest.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Hurricane Irene ... the storm was huge news. In fact, the Weather Channel reported something they haven't seen in years. Viewers.

Hurricane Irene ... the storm was huge news. In fact, the Weather Channel reported something they haven't seen in years. Viewers.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I like living with myself. I mean obviously, because here I am interviewing myself.

I like living with myself. I mean obviously, because here I am interviewing myself.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Iran said it will give up trying to make a nuclear weapon. But it got awkward when Iran said, 'But just for Lent. We'll start again on Monday.'

Iran said it will give up trying to make a nuclear weapon. But it got awkward when Iran said, 'But just for Lent. We'll start again on Monday.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: 'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wrong with it.

'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wrong with it.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I like doing energetic things.

I like doing energetic things.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs. Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs.

A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs. Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: It's Friday. That's one reason to celebrate. Also, it's the first day in a long time when no one declared they're running for president.

It's Friday. That's one reason to celebrate. Also, it's the first day in a long time when no one declared they're running for president.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Republican Ted Cruz announced that he will run for president in 2016. So finally, Carnival is no longer the most dangerous cruise in America.

Republican Ted Cruz announced that he will run for president in 2016. So finally, Carnival is no longer the most dangerous cruise in America.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thinking about all that - what it means to be happy - I think it overloaded your brain.

Thinking about all that - what it means to be happy - I think it overloaded your brain.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: A recent study found that people lie more when they are texting. Yeah, especially that one lie: Sorry, just got your text!

A recent study found that people lie more when they are texting. Yeah, especially that one lie: Sorry, just got your text!

Jimmy Fallon quotes: A new study found that a mother's diet affects her baby's allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats.

A new study found that a mother's diet affects her baby's allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it.

Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.

I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me.

Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Shouldn't every day be Earth Day? I mean, what are our options?

Shouldn't every day be Earth Day? I mean, what are our options?

Jimmy Fallon quotes: You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I didn't act like I was there. I just got into the story.

I didn't act like I was there. I just got into the story.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA put it, "Hope you like Amtrak!

I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA put it, "Hope you like Amtrak!

Jimmy Fallon quotes: We have a really, really great dog. It doesn't bark. My dog almost smiles, which is weird. He's just a very happy dog.

We have a really, really great dog. It doesn't bark. My dog almost smiles, which is weird. He's just a very happy dog.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don't worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.

Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don't worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: This week, a 95-year-old woman married a 98-year-old man to become the world's oldest newlyweds. They're registered at Bed, Sponge Bath and Beyond.

This week, a 95-year-old woman married a 98-year-old man to become the world's oldest newlyweds. They're registered at Bed, Sponge Bath and Beyond.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.

I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff's going to be dragged up and, you know, I'll be like, 'Wait, what?'

I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff's going to be dragged up and, you know, I'll be like, 'Wait, what?'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: When NBC told me I got the job, I asked, 'Can we do it from New York?' There was just silence on the phone

When NBC told me I got the job, I asked, 'Can we do it from New York?' There was just silence on the phone

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Happy birthday to Arnold Palmer, who turned 82. That's 41 years iced tea and 41 years lemonade.

Happy birthday to Arnold Palmer, who turned 82. That's 41 years iced tea and 41 years lemonade.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'

Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday today. He had a nice party, but it got awkward when two of his friends got him the same country.

Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday today. He had a nice party, but it got awkward when two of his friends got him the same country.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Success is ... happiness. Is that too Deepak Chopra?

Success is ... happiness. Is that too Deepak Chopra?

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves.

Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.

I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.

I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family.

There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet.

If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Today is 11/11/11, a date so simple even Rick Perry can remember it.

Today is 11/11/11, a date so simple even Rick Perry can remember it.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.

Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream.

My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is going to Israel. He's going to be pretty disappointed when he finds out the Gaza Strip isn't a steak.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is going to Israel. He's going to be pretty disappointed when he finds out the Gaza Strip isn't a steak.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I like being absurd. Being silly.

I like being absurd. Being silly.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox.

I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: President Obama finally has his own personal Twitter account. Even John McCain said, 'Welcome to the Internet, grandpa.'

President Obama finally has his own personal Twitter account. Even John McCain said, 'Welcome to the Internet, grandpa.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I got every Dan Shaughnessy book known to man.

I got every Dan Shaughnessy book known to man.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: It would've been amazing [to work as programmer]. You're good at numbers, you're good with people, you like to wear shorts in the summertime.

It would've been amazing [to work as programmer]. You're good at numbers, you're good with people, you like to wear shorts in the summertime.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.

Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse.

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade.

A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.

When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: According to a new poll, the number of Americans who trust Hillary is dropping. Specifically into a hole that Hillary covered with leaves.

According to a new poll, the number of Americans who trust Hillary is dropping. Specifically into a hole that Hillary covered with leaves.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: People have disliked me. You know, in high school, I wasn't the most popular kid. I wasn't the nerdiest kid. I was kind of in the middle.

People have disliked me. You know, in high school, I wasn't the most popular kid. I wasn't the nerdiest kid. I was kind of in the middle.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration thing.

Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration thing.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: [Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror.

[Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.

Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I didn't invent the rainy day. I just own the best umbrella.

I didn't invent the rainy day. I just own the best umbrella.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.

Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

Jimmy Fallon quotes: Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously

Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously