Jerome K. Jerome quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jerome K. Jerome

Jerome K. Jerome Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Jerome K. Jerome on Wise Famous Quotes.

Nothing is easier to write than scenery; nothing more difficult and unnecessary to read.

Throw the lumber over, man!

Leave me, before I get over the wall & slay you.

There is no pathos in real misery, no luxury in real grief.

Nature was beautiful, even in her tears

The mildest tempered people, when on land, become violent and blood-thirsty when in a boat.

If my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed.

If he didn't want his opinion,why did he ask for it?

Among all nations there should be vast temples raised where people might worship in silence and listen to it, for it is the voice of God

There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do.

Nature, always inartistic, takes pleasure in creating the impossible.

It is well we cannot see into the future. There are few boys of fourteen who would not feel ashamed of themselves at forty.

Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.

Has he been snatched up to heaven?" I queried. "They'd hardly have taken the pie too," said George.

Each person has what he doesn't want, and other people have what he does want. Married

A boy's muscles move quicker than his thoughts.

George goes to sleep at a bank from ten to four each day, except Saturdays, when they wake him up and put him outside at two.

I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.

As our means increase, so do our desires;and we ever stand midway between the two.

It always is Christmas Eve, in a ghost story.
("Introduction" to TOLD AFTER SUPPER)

Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in at once.

There are the goods; if you want them, you can have them. If you do not want them, they would almost rather that you did not come and talk about them.

I like a bit of fun myself. But not if you've got to pay for it. Where's the fun in that?

A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it.

It must have been worth while having a mere ordinary plague now and then in London to get rid of both the lawyers and the Parliament.

Life was not an idle dream to be gaped and yawned through, but a noble task, full of duty and stern work.

It is wonderful what an insight into domestic economy being really hard up gives one.

But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.

I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

No man alive has more sound commonsense than I have, if only I were capable of listening to myself. Do

Idling has always been my strong point.

It was quick work. He came, he saw, I conquered!

It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.

Speak truth, and right will take care of itself.

Ambition is only vanity ennobled.

I had a tame rat when I was a boy, and I loved that animal as only a boy would love an old water-rat

The less taste a person has in dress, the more obstinate he always seems to be.

We are so bound together that no man can labor for himself alone. Each blow he strikes in his own behalf helps to mold the universe.

All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.

Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.

And we would all try to do it in our heads, and all arrive at different results, and sneer at one another.

Life works upon a compensating balance, and the happiness we gain in one direction we lose in another.

The more the other party thinks he's having his way, the easier always to get your own.

The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.

as for exercise! why, you'll get more exercise, sitting down on that ship, than you would turning somersaults on dry land.

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar.

It all comes of being so attractive, as the old lady said when she was struck by lightning.

Such is life; and we are but as grass that is cut down, and put into the oven and baked.

Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago, has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.

But we are so blind to our own shortcomings, so wide awake to those of others. Everything that happens to us is always the other person's fault.

One we discover how to appreciate the timeless values in our daily experiences, we can enjoy the best things in life.

If I am guilty," said the Earl, "may this bread choke me when I eat it!

We drink one another's health and spoil our own.

Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.

It takes 3 girls to tow always; two to hold the rope, and the other one runs round and round, and giggles.

Love is woman's business,and in "business" we all lay aside our natural weaknesses.

Cultivate," I said, "a sense of humor. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good.

I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.

Information it conveys, as in its simple truthfulness. Its pages form the record of events that really happened. All that has been done

Let us play the game of life as sportsmen, pocketing our winnings with a smile, leaving our losings with a shrug.

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

"Not sure," he retorted; "you call yourself a journalist, and admit there is a subject under Heaven of which you are not sure!"

That's Harris all over - so ready to take the burden of everything himself, and put it on the backs of other people.

I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.

I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.

In a boat, I have always noticed that it is the fixed idea of each member of the crew that he is doing everything.

A Spaniard will seek to persuade you that the bull-ring is an institution got up chiefly for the benefit of the bull.

I respect the truth too much to drag it out on every occasion.

I answered that I thought he would never smile again.

Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house-out of place and in the way.

Evil thought is a dangerous pet. It is safer to play with it from behind the iron bars of circumstance.

I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.

It is in the petty details, not in the great results, that the interest of existence lies.

When a man or woman loves to brood over a sorrow and takes care to keep it green in their memory, you may be sure it is no longer a pain to them.

I had glanced half down the list of

What I'm looking for is a blessing not in disguise.

It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.

Cassivelaunus had prepared the river for Caesar, by planting it full of stakes (and had, no doubt, put up a notice-board).

I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life.

Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their own way, but we, poor mortals in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.

To be misunderstood is the shy man's fate on every occasion; and whatever impression he endeavors to create, he is sure to convey its opposite.

Let us gather together in the great cities, and light huge bonfires of a million gas-jets, and shout and sing together, and feel brave.

The advantage of literature over life is that its characters are clearly defined, and act consistently.

The facts of life are the impossibilities of fiction.

A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.

It is no more effort for a man to be a saint than to be a sinner; it becomes a mere matter of habit.

Don't rely too much upon that unsteady flicker.

It's really extraordinary what a variety of ways of loving there must be. We all do it as it was never done before.

Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.

We shall never be content until each man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.

The greatest minds never realise their ideals in any matter;

Conceit is the finest armour a man can wear.

A boy's love comes from a full heart; a man's is more often the result of a full stomach.

Life will always remain a gamble, with prizes sometimes for the imprudent, and blanks so often to the wise.

A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.

Resolutions were made for man, not man for resolutions.

The weather is like the government, always in the wrong.

who weighs about twelve stone.