Jasper Fforde quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jasper Fforde

Jasper Fforde Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Jasper Fforde on Wise Famous Quotes.

The only time we get to fight the powers of darkness is during one of the kingdom's frequent power cuts

Wales: not ALWAYS raining

That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.

The best plans are always the simplest.

In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash.

I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does.

For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.

So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It's an interesting mix.

I got Oedipus off the incest charge
technicality, of course
he didn't know it was his mother at the time.

Death cannot be avoided forever, but it can be postponed - in that respect it's very like the washing up.

1.1.19.02.006: Team sports are mandatory in order to build character. Character is there to give purpose to team sports.

Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.

Take no heed of her," explained Jones apologetically. "She reads a lot of books.

Most of Mycroft's ideas were far too dangerous to even think about, much less let loose on a world unprepared for hyper-radical thought.

Curiosity is a descending stair ... that leads to only who-knows-where.

When I was about 10 or 11, I realised that people made movies; until then, I had thought they just happened.

Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.

That's insane.'
'If you look around, you won't find much that isn't.

Bah!" exclaimed Rochester. "Pixies both! Begone with you; we will talk later!

Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this
in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer
and at your hands.

Being written by someone who might not quite understand the subconscious nuance of the character leaves us in varying degrees of flatness.

If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.

I have the death sentence in seven genres.

The opposition Prevailingwind Party led by Alfredo Traficcone

Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

Really? I asked, which is probably the only answer to anything in Conspiracy.

My temper began to rise
always a bad sign. I would probably end up doing something stupid.

Another one of your quippy japes?

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?"
"If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be.

The circumstances of confusion will be your path to enlightenment' - Thursday Next

The very possibility of death focuses the mind wonderfully.

There is a certain degree of 'steampunkishness' that creeps into my books.

2.5.03.02.005: Generally speaking, if you fiddle with something, it will break. Don't.

Speak to any editor and ask them what they turned down, and they'll have long lists of books.

To each our own Hamlet.

Keep your head down, Edward. Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

The most favorite boy's name is James; the least favorite is Gzxkls.

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.

Miss Strange?" said the receptionist. "The King's Useless Brother has become bored and will see you early.

There was something she wasn't telling me, but I had to trust her - only a fool ignores a local guide. "Okay,

Shall I kill him?" said the princess after a pause. "My father insisted that I be trained in the art of silent assassination just in case.

Good evening," said the barman. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" "Because Poe wrote on both?

Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances.

The room didn't contain a large jar as Landen had suggested, but rather a human-size sarcophagus made out of Tupperware to ensure freshness.

Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn't collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs.

The cleanest souls are the easiest to soil.

Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.

Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.

Extraordinary; I could almost see the Cambrian Mountains

Money is a form of alchemy, [ ... ] it turns kind, normal people into greed-mongers, intent only on acquisitiveness.

She had, in a few short words, utterly defiled, defamed and defaced the finely tuned social order that was the bedrock of the Collective.

He was, after all, the ultimate rebel
it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus.

The only way to write is to write. Writers write. And when they've written, they write some more.

I had never come across a talking cat before, but good manners, as my father used to say, cost nothing.

The verses of Byron, Keats or Poe are real whether they are in bootleg form or not. You can still read them for the same effect.

We have it on good authority that they might disguise it as a double entendre in a bedroom farce and deliver it up the rear entrance at Comedy.

Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way.

The best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe

... the known had been so long dwarfed by the unknown that confusion was an easy bedfellow.

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.

If you give children the freedom to do very little, quite a lot will do very little.

Ordinary adults don't like children to speak of things that are denied them by their own gray minds.

We all aspire to be ourselves, an original character in a litany of fiction so vast that we know we cannot.

They had just digested a recent meal of prepositions and were happily farting out apostrophes and ampersands; the air was heav'y with th'em&.

I hate to admit it, but governmental deviousness is usually better explained by incompetence, vanity, and the need to protect one's job at all costs.

Those that can be troubled to muse upon the meaning of life are general disappointed when they figure it out.

I collect ex-boyfriends
and more than five, at last count.

In order to fail, first you have to try.

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Do I have to talk to insane people?"
"You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing.

Besides, I punched him in the eye.

Were you listening to a word I said '
'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

Got the rocket-propelled liquorice launcher handy?

The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.

How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?

Growth purely for its own sake is the philosophy of cancer.

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.

I wasn't particularly worried; running is overrated anyway, and sport only makes you sweaty and smug and wears out the knees.

Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.

Every book should have a romance.

Information can liberate but also imprisonate.

I was glad to see I had only witnessed Dad's death and not the end of his life, as the two I learned are barely related at all.

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good
and we all know how rare that is ...

Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own.

I'm not of the opinion that the next logical step for a book is for it to be made into a film.

So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?

6.6.19.61.247: Vulgar mispronunciations of everyday words will not be tolerated.

Hamlet would worry about having nothing to worry about if he had nothing to worry about,

Defiance through compliance.

I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.

There is a contract between the reader and the writer. The readers give me their hard-earned cash, and I have to entertain them.

...a standing ovation from five-year-olds is not to be sniffed at.

If this were a novel, you'd have to start a new chapter as soon as I appeared.

Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.

I'm beginning to think you're the sort of person who does a great deal with very little.
He meant a liar.

Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.

Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics; nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.