It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.
Everyone has their personal topics. My comedy has always been very strong on observational humor, it stems from what I see every day in my life. 
I wasn't a 'hot chick' in high school. I was 'funny' and a tomboy and probably a little uncomfortable with my amazing boobs.
It said, 'War Is Not the Answer.' I disagree. I think war absolutely is the answer. And if you don't agree with me, happy Fourth of July. 
Passion always finds a way. Follow your passion and everything else will work out.
When you ask a girl out and she suggest a bar, you're answer shouldn't be great, I like that bar and they'll have the Rockets game on too.
I don't come up with ideas, they come to me. I write them down and try to convey what's wrong with me to the audience as best I can.
If I could have any job I would be a cat ... but that's not something I'm supposed to talk about in public. 
Both are salty, one will give me carpal tunnel, I'll go with the fries. 
The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring. 