Helen Fielding quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Helen Fielding

Helen Fielding Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Helen Fielding on Wise Famous Quotes.

Am going to cook shepherd's pie for them all - British home cooking.

Backlash, actually, by Susan Faludi,

You can't be ironic about dead people.

That is such crap. How dare you be so fraudulently flirtatious, cowardly and dysfunctional? I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye.

Alcohol units: 5. Drowning sorrows. Cigarettes: 23. Fumigating sorrows. Calories: 3,856. Smothering sorrows in fat duvet.

Don't say 'what,' say 'pardon,' darling, and do as your mother tells you.

Bet I will become known as brilliant cook and hostess

Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time but should have an
accepted status - like geisha girls do

I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage.

I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.

Work - once merely an annoying nuisance - has become an agonizing torture.

I like you very much. Just as you are.

Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs ... Mum ... Hi.

Is it just me or is Sunday a bizarre night for a first date? All wrong, like Saturday morning or Monday at 2 p.m.

E were always taught, instead of waiting to be swept off our feet, to 'expect little, forgive much'.

Bad enough when a man wanted to touch but could only look. Worse yet when he'd touched and not even noticed.

The point is you are supposed to vote for the principle of the thing, not the itsy-bitsy detail about this percent and that percent.

It was technological and black and thin and therefore Evil, but ... it was also a book.

10.35 p.m. Just pressssd d SEND. Issfineisn' tit. DO NOT TEXT WHEN DRUNK

I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect ... instead I choose Chaka Khan ... and vodka ... Bridget Jones

Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me.

I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world!

Emotional fuckwittage

Roxster, my photo is of an egg.

Why does turning on a TV these days require three remotes with ninety buttons? Why?

We cannot avoid pain, we cannot avoid loss. Contentment comes from the ease and flexibility with which we move through change.

Should Never,Ever have got involved with Men again. Had completely forgotten the nightmare of 'Why hasn't he called

Age of rationing ended some time ago and is now space rather than possessions which is in short supply.

One must not live one's life through men but must be complete on oneself as a woman of substance.

One has to be in control, otherwise the whole dynamic becomes a total disaster.

But the thing about having kids is: you can't go to pieces; you just have to keep going.

When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart ...

HARHARBLOODY HAR. Put that in your pipe hole and smoke it, society!

I hadn't been there ten minutes before there were three turds on the carpet.

I am brave, though I am alone.

Oh, darling, you can't go around with that tatty green canvas thing. You look like some sort of Mary Poppins person who's fallen on hard times.

Sink into morbid, cynical reflection on how much romantic heartbreak is to do with ego and miffed pride rather than actual loss

Where is the tuna? Where? Where?

When he's hot, he's hot; when he's not, he's not. But at least there is always food

Our culture is too obsessed with outward appearance, age and status. Love is what matters.

Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature - with

Maybe will go to yoga and become more flexible. Or maybe will go out with friends and get plastered.

Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one's shorts should always be longer than one's vagina.

It occurred to me that if Africa needed us, sometimes we needed Africa a great deal more.

I like you very much. Just as you are. Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones

I've had a lot of books rejected in my time. My first novel, which didn't get published, was, with hindsight, crashingly dull.

It is horrid to smirk.

Comedy tends to come out of things which are quite painful and serious.

Women today are bombarded with so many messages, like we should have Naomi Campbell's body and Madeleine Albright's career.

The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem.
It's the three-minute culture. It's a global attention-span deficit.

Is the whole world doomed to emotional trauma?

You only get one life. I've just made a decision to change things a bit and spend what's left of mine looking after me for a change.

My books have all generated controversy.

As Oscar Wilde says, thirty-five is the perfect age for a woman, so much so that many women have decided to adopt it for the rest of their lives.

Girls are so much nicer than men (apart from Tom-but homosexual).

I certainly think I'll end up writing about America in some form. I've taken plenty of notes. I like America very much.

It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.

I will not Drink more than fourteen alcohol units a week.

Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?

It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.

No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.

I keep telling you, nobody wants legs like a stick insect. They want a bottom they can park in a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.

You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you wandered out of Auschwitz.

Nobody wants to be racist and I think that most people aren't.

I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen.

But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.

You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside.

mascara-ing her eyelashes with her mouth wide open (necessity of open mouth during mascara application great unexplained mystery of nature). "Don't

Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'. (Talitha)

This sort of, arrogant individualism which imagines each new generation can somehow create the world afresh.

Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes ...

I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.

I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing.