H.L. Mencken Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by H.L. Mencken

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H.L. Mencken Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from H.L. Mencken on Wise Famous Quotes.

H.L. Mencken quotes: Why writers write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or why a cow stands patiently while an underprivileged farmer burglarizes her. Why writers write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or why a cow stands patiently while an underprivileged farmer burglarizes her.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist. Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist.
H.L. Mencken quotes: A man who is an agnostic by inheritance, so that he doesn't remember any time that he wasn't, has almost no hatred for the religious. A man who is an agnostic by inheritance, so that he doesn't remember any time that he wasn't, has almost no hatred for the religious.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The pedant and the priest have always been the most expert of logicians and the most diligent disseminators of nonsense and worse. The pedant and the priest have always been the most expert of logicians
and the most diligent disseminators of nonsense and worse.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Anyhow, the hole in the donut is at least digestible. Anyhow, the hole in the donut is at least digestible.
H.L. Mencken quotes: I am suspicious of all the things that the average people believes. I am suspicious of all the things that the average people believes.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse. Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.
H.L. Mencken quotes: You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
H.L. Mencken quotes: A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood. Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.
H.L. Mencken quotes: It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully. Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Well, I tell you, if I have been wrong in my agnosticism, when I die I'll walk up to God in a manly way and say, Sir, I made an Well, I tell you, if I have been wrong in my agnosticism, when I die I'll walk up to God in a manly way and say, Sir, I made an honest mistake.
H.L. Mencken quotes: A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them. A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
H.L. Mencken quotes: It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man. It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
H.L. Mencken quotes: I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself. I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then I was in my cups and not myself.
H.L. Mencken quotes: A poet over 30 is pathetic A poet over 30 is pathetic
H.L. Mencken quotes: Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on. Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
H.L. Mencken quotes: There is reinforcement in such familiar back-formations as Chinee from Chinese, Portugee from Portuguese. There is reinforcement in such familiar back-formations as Chinee from Chinese, Portugee from Portuguese.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Wealth - any income that is at least $100 more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. Wealth - any income that is at least $100 more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
H.L. Mencken quotes: In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added. In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added.
H.L. Mencken quotes: I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved, which a cow enjoys on giving milk. I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved, which a cow enjoys on giving milk.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Father that it is not hydrophobia. Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Father that it is not hydrophobia.
H.L. Mencken quotes: For me to go into politics would be like sending a virgin into a house of ill-repute. For me to go into politics would be like sending a virgin into a house of ill-repute.
H.L. Mencken quotes: No politician is ever benefited by saving money; it is spending it that makes him. No politician is ever benefited by saving money; it is spending it that makes him.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The learned are seldom pretty fellows, and in many cases their appearance tends to discourage a love of study in the young. The learned are seldom pretty fellows, and in many cases their appearance tends to discourage a love of study in the young.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted
H.L. Mencken quotes: The university president who cashiered every professor unwilling to support Woodrow Wilson for the first vacancy in theTrinity ... The university president who cashiered every professor unwilling to support Woodrow Wilson for the first vacancy in the
Trinity ...
H.L. Mencken quotes: Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
H.L. Mencken quotes: No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Believing passionately in the palpably not true ... is the chief occupation of mankind. Believing passionately in the palpably not true ... is the chief occupation of mankind.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians. The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.
H.L. Mencken quotes: I have seen something of the horrors of war, and much too much of the worse horrors of peace. I have seen something of the horrors of war, and much too much of the worse horrors of peace.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Skin diseases are something doctors like, the patient neither dies nor gets well. Skin diseases are something doctors like, the patient neither dies nor gets well.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Criticism is prejudice made plausible. Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Our literature, despite several false starts that promised much, is chiefly remarkable, now as always, for its respectable mediocrity. Our literature, despite several false starts that promised much, is chiefly remarkable, now as always, for its respectable mediocrity.
H.L. Mencken quotes: War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post. Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Self-respectthe secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious. Self-respect
the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Whenever a woman begins to talk of anything, she is talking to, of, or at a man. Whenever a woman begins to talk of anything, she is talking to, of, or at a man.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply. The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The war on privilege will never end. Its next great campaign will be against the privileges of the underprivileged. The war on privilege will never end. Its next great campaign will be against the privileges of the underprivileged.
H.L. Mencken quotes: A man is called a good fellow for doing things which, if done by a woman, would land her in a lunatic asylum. A man is called a good fellow for doing things which, if done by a woman, would land her in a lunatic asylum.
H.L. Mencken quotes: If a sense of duty tortures a man, it also enables him to achieve prodigies. If a sense of duty tortures a man, it also enables him to achieve prodigies.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Evil is that which one believes of others. Evil is that which one believes of others.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Truth - Something somehow discreditable to someone. Truth - Something somehow discreditable to someone.
H.L. Mencken quotes: One seldom discovers a true believer that is worth knowing One seldom discovers a true believer that is worth knowing
H.L. Mencken quotes: For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The best client is a scared millionaire. The best client is a scared millionaire.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Never underestimate the booberie of the booboisie. Never underestimate the booberie of the booboisie.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince. Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Love is the mistaken belief that one woman differs from another. Love is the mistaken belief that one woman differs from another.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian. Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
H.L. Mencken quotes: After all, the world is not our handiwork, and we are not responsible for what goes on in it, save within very narrow limits. After all, the world is not our handiwork, and we are not responsible for what goes on in it, save within very narrow limits.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The common notion that free speech prevails in the United States always makes me laugh. The common notion that free speech prevails in the United States always makes me laugh.
H.L. Mencken quotes: How to Drink Like a Gentleman: The Things to Do and the Things Not To, as Learned in 30 Years' Extensive Research. How to Drink Like a Gentleman: The Things to Do and the Things Not To, as Learned in 30 Years' Extensive Research.
H.L. Mencken quotes: No man ever quite believes in any other man. One may believe in an idea absolutely, but not in a man. No man ever quite believes in any other man. One may believe in an idea absolutely, but not in a man.
H.L. Mencken quotes: When I hear artists or authors making fun of businessmen, I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks. When I hear artists or authors making fun of businessmen, I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them. The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Friendship is a common belief in the same fallacies, mountebanks and hobgoblins. Friendship is a common belief in the same fallacies, mountebanks and hobgoblins.
H.L. Mencken quotes: War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use. War is the only sport which is genuinely amusing. And it is the only sport which has any intelligible use.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all other men are just as easy to fool. The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all other men are just as easy to fool.
H.L. Mencken quotes: There are some politicians who, if their constituents were cannibals, would promise them missionaries in every pot. There are some politicians who, if their constituents were cannibals, would promise them missionaries in every pot.
H.L. Mencken quotes: I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind. I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind.
H.L. Mencken quotes: It is only doubt that creates. It is only doubt that creates.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The cynics are right nine times out of ten. The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Bridges would not be safer if only people who knew the proper definition of a real number were allowed to design them. Bridges would not be safer if only people who knew the proper definition of a real number were allowed to design them.
H.L. Mencken quotes: To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment. To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment.
H.L. Mencken quotes: There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal. There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.
H.L. Mencken quotes: In any combat between a rogue and a fool the sympathy of mankind is always with the rogue. In any combat between a rogue and a fool the sympathy of mankind is always with the rogue.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again. Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right. Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
H.L. Mencken quotes: A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground. A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Love begins like a triolet and ends like a college yell. Love begins like a triolet and ends like a college yell.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Every man is his own hell. Every man is his own hell.
H.L. Mencken quotes: A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Adultery is the application of democracy to love. Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Our whole practical government is grounded in mob psychology and the Boobus Americanus will follow any command that promises to make him safer. Our whole practical government is grounded in mob psychology and the Boobus Americanus will follow any command that promises to make him safer.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Time stays, we go. Time stays, we go.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient. Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Economic independence is the foundation of the only sort of freedom worth a damn Economic independence is the foundation of the only sort of freedom worth a damn
H.L. Mencken quotes: The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits
H.L. Mencken quotes: Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
H.L. Mencken quotes: There are two kinds of music; German music and bad music. There are two kinds of music; German music and bad music.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic. The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Most people want security in this world, not liberty. Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
H.L. Mencken quotes: There is no record in the history of a nation that ever gained anything valuable by being unable to defend itself. There is no record in the history of a nation that ever gained anything valuable by being unable to defend itself.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Liberty and democracy are eternal enemies, and every one knows it who has ever given any sober reflection to the matter. Liberty and democracy are eternal enemies, and every one knows it who has ever given any sober reflection to the matter.
H.L. Mencken quotes: I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey. I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Poverty is a soft pedal upon the branches of human activity, not excepting the spiritual. Poverty is a soft pedal upon the branches of human activity, not excepting the spiritual.
H.L. Mencken quotes: In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell. In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
H.L. Mencken quotes: All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers. All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The formula of the argument is simple and familiar: to dispose of a problem all that is necessary is to deny that it exists. The formula of the argument is simple and familiar: to dispose of a problem all that is necessary is to deny that it exists.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The average man gets his living by such depressing devices that boredom becomes a sort of natural state to him. The average man gets his living by such depressing devices that boredom becomes a sort of natural state to him.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Writing books is certainly a most unpleasant occupation. It is lonesome, unsanitary, and maddening. Many authors go crazy. Writing books is certainly a most unpleasant occupation. It is lonesome, unsanitary, and maddening. Many authors go crazy.
H.L. Mencken quotes: Conscience is the accumulated sediment of ancestral faint- heartedness Conscience is the accumulated sediment of ancestral faint- heartedness
H.L. Mencken quotes: If I ever mary, it will be on a suddn impulse - as aman shoots himself If I ever mary, it will be on a suddn impulse - as aman shoots himself
H.L. Mencken quotes: In the duel of sex, woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft. In the duel of sex, woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.
H.L. Mencken quotes: The fact is that the average man's love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice and truth. The fact is that the average man's love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice and truth.

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