Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Greg Fitzsimmons

Greg Fitzsimmons Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Greg Fitzsimmons on Wise Famous Quotes.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds. The other 19 are shame.

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds. The other 19 are shame.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: We are now able to create virtual realities on computers. Are we all living in one created by someone in the future?

We are now able to create virtual realities on computers. Are we all living in one created by someone in the future?

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I enjoy writing the same way I enjoy doing standup. Part of the challenge is being creative and making it work no matter what the constraints.

I enjoy writing the same way I enjoy doing standup. Part of the challenge is being creative and making it work no matter what the constraints.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: Somebody stole my identity. Good luck using it without the medications.

Somebody stole my identity. Good luck using it without the medications.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I feel like I am too old to eat jelly. But I am too young to eat prunes. I am between grapes.

I feel like I am too old to eat jelly. But I am too young to eat prunes. I am between grapes.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I'm kinda stuck in that awkward in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne.

I'm kinda stuck in that awkward in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: Don't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober ... I'm dead inside.

Don't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober ... I'm dead inside.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I was just in Las Vegas, where prostitution is legal. Which is a relief because I live in Los Angeles, where it is mandatory.

I was just in Las Vegas, where prostitution is legal. Which is a relief because I live in Los Angeles, where it is mandatory.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I'm sure people are shocked when they see a guy speeding and cutting them off and having road rage while in a Prius.

I'm sure people are shocked when they see a guy speeding and cutting them off and having road rage while in a Prius.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I have to stop watching the Olympics. It just reminds me that I forgot to try really hard at something.

I have to stop watching the Olympics. It just reminds me that I forgot to try really hard at something.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: If we don't have souls then who am I talking to when I keep telling myself to be good?

If we don't have souls then who am I talking to when I keep telling myself to be good?

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: The most interesting hipsters are ones who stop being hipsters.

The most interesting hipsters are ones who stop being hipsters.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to.

Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: Driving around with a receding hairline and two kids in a Prius feels a bit boring for me.

Driving around with a receding hairline and two kids in a Prius feels a bit boring for me.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I feel life is to be lived. You want to spend your time doing things and being with friends and all that.

I feel life is to be lived. You want to spend your time doing things and being with friends and all that.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: The best drunks are the ones who only hang out with other drunks in places we all know are filled with drunks.

The best drunks are the ones who only hang out with other drunks in places we all know are filled with drunks.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it. I have never seen anyone actually do it.

When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it. I have never seen anyone actually do it.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: They say no one knows if we all see red the same way. Except traffic cops.

They say no one knows if we all see red the same way. Except traffic cops.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: I love when problems have simple solutions. Cold medicine. Umbrellas. Condoms. Tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.

I love when problems have simple solutions. Cold medicine. Umbrellas. Condoms. Tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: Taking down the Christmas tree makes it feel official: time to get back to joyless and cynical.

Taking down the Christmas tree makes it feel official: time to get back to joyless and cynical.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: Rescuing dogs is looked upon as a noble, trendy pursuit. But wouldn't rescuing a man from a homeless shelter be, in fact, more humane?

Rescuing dogs is looked upon as a noble, trendy pursuit. But wouldn't rescuing a man from a homeless shelter be, in fact, more humane?

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: My kids teased me at dinner that I'm not cool. I told them if I was cool I wouldn't be sitting at home with my kids. Pass the gravy.

My kids teased me at dinner that I'm not cool. I told them if I was cool I wouldn't be sitting at home with my kids. Pass the gravy.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: The most interesting nerds are the ones who take offense to being called nerds.

The most interesting nerds are the ones who take offense to being called nerds.

Greg Fitzsimmons quotes: If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married.

If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married.