Greg Behrendt Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt quotes: I mean, I feel like you can kill the same bird with both stones. I mean, I feel like you can kill the same bird with both stones.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex. Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
Greg Behrendt quotes: He doesn't need to be reminded you're great. He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.
Greg Behrendt quotes: You already have one asshole, you don't need another one You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt quotes: I believe in love the verb, not the noun. I believe in love the verb, not the noun.
Greg Behrendt quotes: People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade. People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself. Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Young people are gross with their faces and their hope. Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt quotes: big plans require big action big plans require big action
Greg Behrendt quotes: Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt quotes: Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time? Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt quotes: Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart. Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you? Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt quotes: The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you. The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Greg Behrendt quotes: An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship. An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I like the idea that when a guy comes over to the house, I get to say I wrote the book. I like the idea that when a guy comes over to the house, I get to say I wrote the book.
Greg Behrendt quotes: A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you. A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt quotes: There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback. There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt quotes: There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him. There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would ... Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would ...
Greg Behrendt quotes: My buddy Tom ... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening. My buddy Tom ... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all. Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt quotes: The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself. The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt quotes: My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father. My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt quotes: My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day. My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Remember always what you set out to get, and please don't settle for less. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don't settle for less.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse.
Greg Behrendt quotes: When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt quotes: This life is yours and no one else's, and if you spend your time looking at other people's pages, you'll never get anything done. This life is yours and no one else's, and if you spend your time looking at other people's pages, you'll never get anything done.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs. I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Better than nothing is not good enough for you! Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt quotes: Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time. Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with
Greg Behrendt quotes: Alone also means available for someone outstanding. Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk. Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt quotes: You are not easily forgotten. You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: They don't break up with you. Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: They don't break up with you.
Greg Behrendt quotes: If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes. If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.
Greg Behrendt quotes: A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep thewoman he loves A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the
woman he loves
Greg Behrendt quotes: The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric. The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes. I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Good enough to tweet, not to say. Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt quotes: We were raised to pursue women ... Most of the guys I know enjoy the pursuit. But that doesn't mean women should be wallflowers. We were raised to pursue women ... Most of the guys I know enjoy the pursuit. But that doesn't mean women should be wallflowers.
Greg Behrendt quotes: If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat. If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt quotes: If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater ... I'd be just fine. If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater ... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt quotes: E may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. E may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt quotes: There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show. There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Sometimes we become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they are bad for us. Sometimes we become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they are bad for us.
Greg Behrendt quotes: So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play. So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie! I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!
Greg Behrendt quotes: There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend. There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again. Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Always be classy. Never be crazy. Always be classy. Never be crazy.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted. Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted.
Greg Behrendt quotes: The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future. The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.
Greg Behrendt quotes: If he was so great, you'd still be together. If he was so great, you'd still be together.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Don't waste the pretty Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt quotes: As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do. As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt quotes: He's just not that into you. He's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating. Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships. I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book. I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt quotes: A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared. A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges
Greg Behrendt quotes: Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you. Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt quotes: He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired. He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth.
Greg Behrendt quotes: He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt quotes: You are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person. You are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts. Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it. I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I'm no longer a prisoner of my fears. Which really just means I'm using real butter. I'm no longer a prisoner of my fears. Which really just means I'm using real butter.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh. Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt quotes: Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities. Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep. Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people ... Because they'll let you down. Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people ... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt quotes: Uncool is a cool resting place. The pressure's off me. Uncool is a cool resting place. The pressure's off me.
Greg Behrendt quotes: But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt quotes: I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh. I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.
Greg Behrendt quotes: I've learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work. I've learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.