Greg Behrendt Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Greg Behrendt
Greg Behrendt Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Greg Behrendt on Wise Famous Quotes.
Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything
related to his feelings for you
related to his feelings for you
I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.
Be yourself. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate behavior is.
I'm just not interested in daytime television, which is something you should remember the next time somebody offers you a daytime talk show.
I saw Aerosmith, and I was like, 'Wow, you can dress like a girl and still get girls? Hand me a scarf!'
If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
You can't fix people or make them change; the only thing you can do is pack your shit and leave if it isn't working for you.
You are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people ... Because they'll let you down.
Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh.
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth.
He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.
The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
My buddy Tom ... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Sometimes we become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they are bad for us.
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.
We were raised to pursue women ... Most of the guys I know enjoy the pursuit. But that doesn't mean women should be wallflowers.
So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.