Gary Gulman quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Gary Gulman

Gary Gulman Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Gary Gulman on Wise Famous Quotes.

I think everything is fair game to a certain extent.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

Without my family, I'd be something.

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.

I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.

I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.

I was born when my dad was 50 ... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets ... the Force is not with you.

I think everything contributes to your creativity.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.