David Spade quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by David Spade

David Spade Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from David Spade on Wise Famous Quotes.

David Spade quotes: My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

David Spade quotes: I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.

I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.

David Spade quotes: There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.

There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.

David Spade quotes: Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

David Spade quotes: I never dated much in high school or college.

I never dated much in high school or college.

David Spade quotes: It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

David Spade quotes: Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.

Bill Murray I always liked. I'm not as good as him, but there's a quality in him that I like. And then there's DeNiro, I'll never be that.

David Spade quotes: My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.

My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.

David Spade quotes: I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

David Spade quotes: I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.

David Spade quotes: I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.

I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.

David Spade quotes: I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.

I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.

David Spade quotes: I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

David Spade quotes: Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.

Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.

David Spade quotes: Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

David Spade quotes: You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

David Spade quotes: If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.

If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.

David Spade quotes: When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks.

When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks.

David Spade quotes: Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

David Spade quotes: It's funny because it's funny.

It's funny because it's funny.

David Spade quotes: Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

David Spade quotes: It's so crazy in Hollywood.

It's so crazy in Hollywood.

David Spade quotes: You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

David Spade quotes: I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.

I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.

David Spade quotes: To be famous and broke is hard.

To be famous and broke is hard.

David Spade quotes: With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.

With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.

David Spade quotes: Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.

Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.

David Spade quotes: To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.

David Spade quotes: I have no detectable hair style.

I have no detectable hair style.

David Spade quotes: I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

David Spade quotes: You know, you want to pull in a wide audience.

You know, you want to pull in a wide audience.

David Spade quotes: I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

David Spade quotes: I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

David Spade quotes: People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.

People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.

David Spade quotes: No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.

No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.

David Spade quotes: Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

David Spade quotes: My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.

My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.

David Spade quotes: On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

David Spade quotes: In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

David Spade quotes: I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.

I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.

David Spade quotes: As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.

As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.

David Spade quotes: When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.

When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.

David Spade quotes: The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

David Spade quotes: I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.

I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.

David Spade quotes: Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

David Spade quotes: There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

David Spade quotes: When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

David Spade quotes: My career is just kind of crazy.

My career is just kind of crazy.

David Spade quotes: I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

David Spade quotes: I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.

I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.

David Spade quotes: I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

David Spade quotes: Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!

David Spade quotes: How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?

How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?

David Spade quotes: It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.

It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.

David Spade quotes: There's always something funny about men chasing women.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

David Spade quotes: I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.

I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.

David Spade quotes: It's hard to have a career.

It's hard to have a career.

David Spade quotes: It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.

It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.