Bill Burr quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Bill Burr

Bill Burr Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Bill Burr on Wise Famous Quotes.

I am so pro-swine flu ... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak.

You have no idea how long a year is until you're stone sober.

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?

Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.

I am so pro-swine flu it's ridiculous.

Podcasting is great. Total freedom.

You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV.

As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names ... 'The Thing That Shouldn't Be'. 'The Chair That Wasn't There', you know?

I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today ...

Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.

Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I'm a great guy.

The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went on stage and I lost it.

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.

Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?

Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups.

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.

Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.

If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast.

I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.

There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you like 17 right off the top of my head.

I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.

Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.

Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?

I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.

Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions.

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.

There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.

I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.

Deny your emotions and act like you have answers

A lot of my fears and anxieties are the fears and anxieties of a six-year-old boy. When I finally confront them, they're really small.

I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.