Bill Burr Quotes

Top 46 wise famous quotes and sayings by Bill Burr

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Bill Burr Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Bill Burr on Wise Famous Quotes.

Bill Burr quotes: I am so pro-swine flu ... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak. I am so pro-swine flu ... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak.
Bill Burr quotes: You have no idea how long a year is until you're stone sober. You have no idea how long a year is until you're stone sober.
Bill Burr quotes: What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard? What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?
Bill Burr quotes: Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live. Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.
Bill Burr quotes: I am so pro-swine flu it's ridiculous. I am so pro-swine flu it's ridiculous.
Bill Burr quotes: Podcasting is great. Total freedom. Podcasting is great. Total freedom.
Bill Burr quotes: You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV. You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV.
Bill Burr quotes: As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names ... 'The Thing That Shouldn't Be'. 'The Chair That Wasn't There', you know? As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names ... 'The Thing That Shouldn't Be'. 'The Chair That Wasn't There', you know?
Bill Burr quotes: I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today ... I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today ...
Bill Burr quotes: Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw. Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.
Bill Burr quotes: Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes. Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.
Bill Burr quotes: I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I'm a great guy. I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I'm a great guy.
Bill Burr quotes: The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went on stage and I lost it. The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went on stage and I lost it.
Bill Burr quotes: Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet. Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
Bill Burr quotes: Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.
Bill Burr quotes: Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling? Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?
Bill Burr quotes: Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups. Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups.
Bill Burr quotes: Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.
Bill Burr quotes: My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious. My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.
Bill Burr quotes: I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in. I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.
Bill Burr quotes: Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10. Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10.
Bill Burr quotes: Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber. Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber.
Bill Burr quotes: If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast. If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast.
Bill Burr quotes: I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right? I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?
Bill Burr quotes: Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into. Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
Bill Burr quotes: Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog. Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
Bill Burr quotes: I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it. I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
Bill Burr quotes: Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich? Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?
Bill Burr quotes: Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking. Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking.
Bill Burr quotes: There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you like 17 right off the top of my head. There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you like 17 right off the top of my head.
Bill Burr quotes: I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show. I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.
Bill Burr quotes: Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men! Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
Bill Burr quotes: I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.
Bill Burr quotes: To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again. To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
Bill Burr quotes: When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots. When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
Bill Burr quotes: Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing. Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.
Bill Burr quotes: God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money? God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?
Bill Burr quotes: I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career. I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.
Bill Burr quotes: Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions. Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions.
Bill Burr quotes: Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel. Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
Bill Burr quotes: If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene. If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
Bill Burr quotes: There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet. There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
Bill Burr quotes: I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint. I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
Bill Burr quotes: Deny your emotions and act like you have answers Deny your emotions and act like you have answers
Bill Burr quotes: A lot of my fears and anxieties are the fears and anxieties of a six-year-old boy. When I finally confront them, they're really small. A lot of my fears and anxieties are the fears and anxieties of a six-year-old boy. When I finally confront them, they're really small.
Bill Burr quotes: I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage. I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

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