Bill Bailey quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Bill Bailey on Wise Famous Quotes.

Bill Bailey quotes: I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

Bill Bailey quotes: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Bill Bailey quotes: There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.

There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.

Bill Bailey quotes: Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard

Bill Bailey quotes: Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.

Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.

Bill Bailey quotes: Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.

Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.

Bill Bailey quotes: I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!

I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!

Bill Bailey quotes: People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'

Bill Bailey quotes: Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

Bill Bailey quotes: In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life -Without unity we are victims. Stay united.

In Unity there is strength;
We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life -
Without unity we are victims. Stay united.

Bill Bailey quotes: Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

Bill Bailey quotes: I'm English and, as such, I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

I'm English and, as such, I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

Bill Bailey quotes: It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.

Bill Bailey quotes: I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

Bill Bailey quotes: Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

Bill Bailey quotes: Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"

Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"

Bill Bailey quotes: Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

Bill Bailey quotes: It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Bill Bailey quotes: I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'

I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'

Bill Bailey quotes: I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine

I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine

Bill Bailey quotes: It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life ...

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life ...

Bill Bailey quotes: What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a

What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.

Bill Bailey quotes: Work hard, save and live within your means.

Work hard, save and live within your means.

Bill Bailey quotes: Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently ...

Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently ...

Bill Bailey quotes: Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!

Bill Bailey quotes: How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ... no eight!

How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ... no eight!

Bill Bailey quotes: If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.

If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.

Bill Bailey quotes: I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

Bill Bailey quotes: A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.

Bill Bailey quotes: So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!

So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!

Bill Bailey quotes: Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.

Bill Bailey quotes: Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Bill Bailey quotes: There's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

There's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

Bill Bailey quotes: The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.

Bill Bailey quotes: I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.

I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.

Bill Bailey quotes: Relaxed Empiricism I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.

Relaxed Empiricism
I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.

Bill Bailey quotes: American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.

American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.

Bill Bailey quotes: Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.

Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.

Bill Bailey quotes: The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

Bill Bailey quotes: Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Bill Bailey quotes: Thank God for Darwin, eh?

Thank God for Darwin, eh?

Bill Bailey quotes: "God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?

Bill Bailey quotes: Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

Bill Bailey quotes: I got ham but I'm not a Hamster

I got ham but I'm not a Hamster

Bill Bailey quotes: This shed does not contain me.

This shed does not contain me.

Bill Bailey quotes: Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Bill Bailey quotes: I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

Bill Bailey quotes: But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

Bill Bailey quotes: I'm a sort of like post-modern vegetarian, I eat meat ... Ironically.

I'm a sort of like post-modern vegetarian, I eat meat ... Ironically.