
It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

I've always been interested in art.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

After you've read a novel, you only retain a vague memory of its contents. You remember the atmosphere, the odd image or phrase or vivid cameo.

Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross?

The book may be garbage, but if it weighs in at a kilo or more, I stand before its author in awe.

The real change that paintings undergo is in the perceptions of the viewer.

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s.

Theatricals can be irritating, but will provide a better night out than mobile phone salespeople.

About every four years, someone says to me, 'I've got a friend who looks exactly like you.' What can you say to this?

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it.

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

Acting is the most demanding, painful job in the world.

Every generation of children has its private hero.

Sometimes it's bad to do something you've never done before.

The Bible has no doubt had much influence in its time, but it provides very few laughs. None, in fact.

I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo.

I am 54 and age is slowly writing itself on my face.

Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography.

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.