Andy Rooney quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Andy Rooney on Wise Famous Quotes.

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be ...

Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Familiar things are a comfort to us all.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.

I've learned ... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned ... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.

Walking is good for the soul.

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

It's just amazing how long this country has been going to hell without ever having got there.

My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.

It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game - except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.

I've learned ... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.

You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.

Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.

I've learned ... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

I've learned ... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.

No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.

I've learned ... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.

I'm an admirer of everything Dr. Martin Luther King stood for, but I don't think he would have stood for this

The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.

All of us talk faster than we listen.

Don't keep saying, "I don't know where the time goes." It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.

In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.

Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.

You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.

Conservatives are more religious than liberals
although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.

You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.

Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.

Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.

A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.

The last birthday that's any good is 23.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.

It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.

The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Person-to-person, most people are honest.

Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.

I've learned ... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.

Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.

I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.

I've learned ... That money doesn't buy class.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

I've learned ... That when you're in love, it shows.

I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

I just wish insignificance had more stature.

When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.

Great teachers are usually a little crazy.

Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

Ugly is very popular this year ... I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.

Dogs are nicer than people.

I've learned ... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

Don't you hate it when ... your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

I've learned ... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.

I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.

I've learned ... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.

It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.

The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.