
For the record, I am so turned on by your elbow patches, I'm coming out of my skin over here.

Oh please, like you don't know. You're bigger than a breadbox!

To things staring you right in the face, I echoed, our eyes locking over the rims.

Was this Cowboy Hank? Oh my, yes, it was. Because his belt buckle told me so .

I'm gonna try to steal home."
I smiled. "Silly Simon, it's not stealing if I wave you in

Pushing thoughts of spanking and Simon from my mind, I went back to my DVDs. Spanking Simon. What a great name for a band.

Her skin glowed, her hair was luxurious, her eyes sparkled, and her tits were even more fantastic.

You give good woo.

His eyes were on my behind. And when caught? Didn't even have the decency to blush. Naughty boy.

I knew I should have changed your name from Nightie Girl to Naughty Girl.

Sleep hair, or the speedbump abs. Practically.

Be aware of the walls you build and what could be on the other side

Hi, pot. It's me, kettle," Sophia snapped back.
"Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.

I knew it wouldn't always be this easy. But it sure as hell would be a good time.

Wine?"
"Am I breathing?"
"Wine it is.

Stop it. If you say sorry one more time I'm gonna go find something of yours and pee on it, I swear.

Beneath the sheet - which was already lower on his hips than should be legal
He
Was
Still
Hard

That's the only reason," he said. "Have a good night. Sweet dreams.

Fucking Wallbanger," I hissed, frozed on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. "Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.

Well, considering my entire life, now seems rules by odd coincidences, I figure it's right on track.

You sure that's the only reason you called?

The irony that Simon was literally trying to run away from pussy was not lost on me.

He was everything I'd ever wanted, and everything I hadn't even known I needed.

I don't care what you all think you want on paper. In reality, you're doing it all wrong.

Because no one can hurt you quite like someone who says he loves you.

Rang out from the kitchen, and I grinned in relief.

How do you make Wallbanger stop smirking? You kiss him.

So, how is the British invasion going? Has he invaded your hoohah yet?

She was giggling. She was a dirty, dirty giggler.

The sounds pouring forth from his nasal passages registered somewhere between grizzly bear and exploding tractor trailer.

His eyes were so blue, it was like looking at two angry oceans.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I knew it was him. My skin told me.

He was the yin to my yang, the frick to my frack, the melba toast to my Chex.

I got in trouble for fondling buns, he whispered.

Sweet dreams and thin walls ... Mother of Pearl. He'd heard me.

Twenty-four year olds were my new favourite thing. I needed to tell Oprah to put them on her list.

Always good when what you need and what you want are the same thing.

It was fun making this guy blush.

He shook his head. "You're a bit of a train wreck, aren't you?" I puffed a bit of hair away from my face. "Choo choo?

You can't misinterpret the sound of a good spanking, and someone was receiving one next door.

I wouldn't say I know him, but I'm familiar with his work.

I love the shit out of you. So calm down and just tell me what you need. -Simon

I'm hardly just someone. I think I rate a little higher than that,

This is the heart I need. And if I have this - and a little schmaltz - I dont need anything else in the world

Come into my Tahoe, Simon,

Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink nightie.

Was I seriously awake at, let's see, one
sixteen a.m. and attempting to discern the national origin of
the woman getting plowed next door?

Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and someone faked an orgasm. All in those five seconds.

Dark chocolate was supposed to be good for you, right?

Maybe you'll show up at my back door with your nuts again.

With one lick, I was close. With a second lick, I was close to stupid.

Just because we didn't work out as a couple didn't mean we couldn't work together, right?

Clive remained behind Simon's knees.
Simon's Knees . . .
What a great name for a band.

I breathed in, he breathed out. We traded actual air.

I will play Truth or Dare, you sucker, until you can't tell your truth from your dare. -CAROLINE

I was harder to pin down, but I knew him when I saw him. Like the Supreme Court and pornography, I was aware.

I'm outside.
Oh.
And I can hear you.
Ohhh.
You said my name.
Oh. My. God.
Let me in