Alice Clayton Quotes

Truth or dare, you little shit.

Get your ass over here right now, you motherfucking scary movie pusher.

Here's the thing about a spit take: In the movies, they're hysterical. In real life, they're just messy.

I told her you were lovely, but the truth is, you're more than lovely,

Simon does commando. God bless America.

Dream Caroline and Dream Simon were some naughty kids.

Kittens, lay back. You are about to get Wallbanged.

And then I tasted nothing but his sweet lips, pressed firmly to mine, as I kissed him like it was my job.

Sometimes you have to pretend to be feeling better to actually feel better. It's why new workout clothes make you feel like you want to work out.

I panted like a whore in church. The Church of Simon ... where I was dying to kneel before him.

Babies. I want to fill you up with babies. Like, make you pregnant with babies. And have some of the babies. Babies. Babies. Caroline? Babies

The right woman for you wouldn't want you to change anything about your life. She wouldn't rock your boat, she'd jump right in and sail it with you.

My shirt bunched up around my waist, and the feeling of his hi-there against my hoohah was indescribable.

Look how fantastic this ring looks on my hand while it's holding your cook."
"Jesus Christ, woman.

E kissed me right on my gonna-see-God.

I didn't think I could love you more, but I really kind of do.

Grace does not share ice cream. She does, however, talk about herself in the third person.

It doesn't always have to be so hard. Sometimes falling in love just means turning around and seeing what's right in front of you.

Don't be ungrateful. Just open it.

Love is messy, painful and emotionally draining. It hardly seems worth it.

I tend to lose control when pie crust is involved.

Dicks didn't need to be inserted for it to be cheating.

You sure about this, Sugar Snap?" ...
"I'm all in, Farmer Boy.

I'll feel guilty Monday, but today I can't think about anything work related. My head will literally burst.

I literally could not feel more cozy right now if I were actually inside a marshmallow

Of course the girl who meows when she has an orgasm is afraid of cats.

Brushed the side of his hand! Slut!

There was a hickey on the side of my neck the size of a quarter. I looked like I had argued with a Hoover and the Hoover won. Jesus.

If I was going to have a life of air and nothing, I'd at least like a big fat dick to bounce on.

Giggler, I think I hate you most of all.

It was like pulling one loose thread on a sweater, and suddenly, poof, no sweater! And you're standing naked in a new hotel with terrible lighting.

I fucking love you, you goddamned librarian.

He lifted his head and opened his eyes. Singularly focused, dark, and of one mind-set.
Simon was about to fuck.

Peeling apples, just peeling apples. Didn't feel your boobs. No, no, not me

Think I even noticed that I had a forehead full of sofa? Hell no, I had a Wallbanger kneeling between my legs.

I'm very cute when I'm vulnerable.

You smell like tequila and sexual repression, Caroline.

Before I eat your bagel, we should be formally introduced, don't you think?

He turned, leaning against the door, one arm over his head. Beef. To the motherfucking. Cake.

After about ten seconds, he inhaled and shook

You gonna bang my walls, Simon?" I laughed.
"You have no idea," he promised.

Oh , God, the British Have landed, Haven't they?

My boyfriend likes to fuck my brains out on our kitchen island. Which tile would you recommend for that?

For the record, I am so turned on by your elbow patches, I'm coming out of my skin over here.

Oh please, like you don't know. You're bigger than a breadbox!

To things staring you right in the face, I echoed, our eyes locking over the rims.

Was this Cowboy Hank? Oh my, yes, it was. Because his belt buckle told me so .

I'm gonna try to steal home."
I smiled. "Silly Simon, it's not stealing if I wave you in

Pushing thoughts of spanking and Simon from my mind, I went back to my DVDs. Spanking Simon. What a great name for a band.

Her skin glowed, her hair was luxurious, her eyes sparkled, and her tits were even more fantastic.

You give good woo.

His eyes were on my behind. And when caught? Didn't even have the decency to blush. Naughty boy.

I knew I should have changed your name from Nightie Girl to Naughty Girl.

Sleep hair, or the speedbump abs. Practically.

Be aware of the walls you build and what could be on the other side

Hi, pot. It's me, kettle," Sophia snapped back.
"Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.

I knew it wouldn't always be this easy. But it sure as hell would be a good time.

Wine?"
"Am I breathing?"
"Wine it is.

Stop it. If you say sorry one more time I'm gonna go find something of yours and pee on it, I swear.

Beneath the sheet - which was already lower on his hips than should be legal
He
Was
Still
Hard

That's the only reason," he said. "Have a good night. Sweet dreams.

Fucking Wallbanger," I hissed, frozed on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. "Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.

Well, considering my entire life, now seems rules by odd coincidences, I figure it's right on track.

You sure that's the only reason you called?

The irony that Simon was literally trying to run away from pussy was not lost on me.

He was everything I'd ever wanted, and everything I hadn't even known I needed.

I don't care what you all think you want on paper. In reality, you're doing it all wrong.

Because no one can hurt you quite like someone who says he loves you.

Rang out from the kitchen, and I grinned in relief.

How do you make Wallbanger stop smirking? You kiss him.

So, how is the British invasion going? Has he invaded your hoohah yet?

She was giggling. She was a dirty, dirty giggler.

The sounds pouring forth from his nasal passages registered somewhere between grizzly bear and exploding tractor trailer.

His eyes were so blue, it was like looking at two angry oceans.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I knew it was him. My skin told me.

He was the yin to my yang, the frick to my frack, the melba toast to my Chex.

I got in trouble for fondling buns, he whispered.

Sweet dreams and thin walls ... Mother of Pearl. He'd heard me.

Twenty-four year olds were my new favourite thing. I needed to tell Oprah to put them on her list.

Always good when what you need and what you want are the same thing.

It was fun making this guy blush.

He shook his head. "You're a bit of a train wreck, aren't you?" I puffed a bit of hair away from my face. "Choo choo?

You can't misinterpret the sound of a good spanking, and someone was receiving one next door.

I wouldn't say I know him, but I'm familiar with his work.

I love the shit out of you. So calm down and just tell me what you need. -Simon

I'm hardly just someone. I think I rate a little higher than that,

This is the heart I need. And if I have this - and a little schmaltz - I dont need anything else in the world

Come into my Tahoe, Simon,

Wrapped around each other but now clad in a pink nightie and a pair of sweatpants. To be clear, I wore the pink nightie.

Was I seriously awake at, let's see, one
sixteen a.m. and attempting to discern the national origin of
the woman getting plowed next door?

Babies were born, old people died, stocks were traded, and someone faked an orgasm. All in those five seconds.

Dark chocolate was supposed to be good for you, right?

Maybe you'll show up at my back door with your nuts again.

With one lick, I was close. With a second lick, I was close to stupid.

Just because we didn't work out as a couple didn't mean we couldn't work together, right?

Clive remained behind Simon's knees.
Simon's Knees . . .
What a great name for a band.

I breathed in, he breathed out. We traded actual air.

I will play Truth or Dare, you sucker, until you can't tell your truth from your dare. -CAROLINE

I was harder to pin down, but I knew him when I saw him. Like the Supreme Court and pornography, I was aware.

I'm outside.
Oh.
And I can hear you.
Ohhh.
You said my name.
Oh. My. God.
Let me in