Alan King quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Alan King

Alan King Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Alan King on Wise Famous Quotes.

Alan King quotes: As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.

As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.

Alan King quotes: My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.

My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.

Alan King quotes: If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Alan King quotes: As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.

As a parent, I'd - I'd be a better father.

Alan King quotes: I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

Alan King quotes: My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

Alan King quotes: It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

Alan King quotes: The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.

The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.

Alan King quotes: I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

Alan King quotes: I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

Alan King quotes: As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

Alan King quotes: Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.

Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.

Alan King quotes: You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

Alan King quotes: A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Alan King quotes: Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

Alan King quotes: Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Alan King quotes: And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

Alan King quotes: If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

Alan King quotes: You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Alan King quotes: Smoked salmon is for dinner. Belly lox is for breakfast. Don't get that mixed up.

Smoked salmon is for dinner. Belly lox is for breakfast. Don't get that mixed up.

Alan King quotes: If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

Alan King quotes: I'm only ... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a ... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.

I'm only ... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a ... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.

Alan King quotes: You only live once, except for Shirley MacLaine.

You only live once, except for Shirley MacLaine.

Alan King quotes: I was a high school throw-out.

I was a high school throw-out.

Alan King quotes: Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan King quotes: Museums are good things, places to look and absorb and learn.

Museums are good things, places to look and absorb and learn.

Alan King quotes: My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

Alan King quotes: The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.

The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.

Alan King quotes: Performing is just standing up there and doing something. Performance takes on an edge to it. It has a more dramatic context.

Performing is just standing up there and doing something. Performance takes on an edge to it. It has a more dramatic context.

Alan King quotes: One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

Alan King quotes: I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.

I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.

Alan King quotes: When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.

When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.

Alan King quotes: Modesty is not one of my virtues.

Modesty is not one of my virtues.

Alan King quotes: I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

Alan King quotes: My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.

My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.

Alan King quotes: Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Alan King quotes: My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.

My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.

Alan King quotes: There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

Alan King quotes: There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

Alan King quotes: My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

Alan King quotes: I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.

I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.

Alan King quotes: When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.

When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.

Alan King quotes: Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.