Abe Lemons Quotes

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

You mean in the state?

It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.

You always catch the wrong players.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

We did have three go to the YMCA.

You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'

I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?