Zach Braff quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Zach Braff

Zach Braff Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Zach Braff on Wise Famous Quotes.

It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.

It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.

I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.

Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me

That image is a couple different people's homes that I knew growing up.

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State

If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.

I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.

I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.

I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff

I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?

Bigger than the Beatles? Well, how many grammys did they win? Exactly, none, yet I have one, and I've never even released a CD.

If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.

I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.

I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.

Is 'Garden State' the next 'Citizen Kane'? Of course not. I'd like to think we aimed a little higher than that, frankly.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.

When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.

I never looked at bread the same way again

I really like just super dry comedy.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

Yea, I had a dream too. Looks like mine came true.

I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.

If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.

Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.

It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.

Yeah, I've banged some female costars. I swore I'd never tell their names, so instead I'll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.

I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.

I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.

When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.

Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that ... that's something.

I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.

I'm putting myself out there in a way I don't know if I ever have before.

I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.

Look on the bright side; that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.

A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.

After all meat is meat. I don't understand why so many people are bithing about it. It's very healthy and contains lots of vitamins

I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.

There's a lot of gray area in the law. Who can say, without a doubt, that I was in the wrong?

I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.

I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.

I heard about the Dalai Lama, you know and I thought to myself, why not me?

Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

My co-stars aren't bad actors, but they're no Zach Braff.

I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.

Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?

If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!

It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?

I know every politician spins the truth a little.

If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.

I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.

They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.

Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do

It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.

You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics ...

Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter

I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.

I use the N word almost daily. It reminds me that I'm successful

I went to film school and wanted to learn everything there was about making movies.

I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.

The Jews are just clumsy bakers.

I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.

A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.

That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song ...

Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

I am really driven, but my drive doesn't effect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.

I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.

I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.

I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?

I have no desire to make money off musicians. I just want to promote them because I want to share music.

I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?

I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.

I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.

I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.

It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.

I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.

If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.

It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.

Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.

They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?

That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.

She can't say no if she's unconscious.

I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another movie.

Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.

I think I suffer from some mild depression.

Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.