Woody Allen Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Woody Allen

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Woody Allen Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Woody Allen on Wise Famous Quotes.

Woody Allen quotes: Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen quotes: Eternal nothingness is O.K. if you're dressed for it. Eternal nothingness is O.K. if you're dressed for it.
Woody Allen quotes: We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit! We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
Woody Allen quotes: I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying. I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
Woody Allen quotes: I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life. I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
Woody Allen quotes: I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case. I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
Woody Allen quotes: My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life. My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
Woody Allen quotes: How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen quotes: Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge. Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen quotes: I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles. I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Woody Allen quotes: Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
Woody Allen quotes: You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter. You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
Woody Allen quotes: If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.
Woody Allen quotes: When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York. When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
Woody Allen quotes: I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants. I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen quotes: Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody Allen quotes: It's all through the actors; I cannot write in that idiom It's all through the actors; I cannot write in that idiom
Woody Allen quotes: Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's. Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's.
Woody Allen quotes: Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes. Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
Woody Allen quotes: Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird. Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen quotes: I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth. I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
Woody Allen quotes: This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole? This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
Woody Allen quotes: My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately? My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
Woody Allen quotes: The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen quotes: None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them. None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
Woody Allen quotes: I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over. I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
Woody Allen quotes: Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards. Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen quotes: I don't know enough to be incompetent. I don't know enough to be incompetent.
Woody Allen quotes: You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win. You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
Woody Allen quotes: Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Woody Allen quotes: Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special. Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
Woody Allen quotes: I am plagued by doubts. I am plagued by doubts.
Woody Allen quotes: It's about Russia. It's about Russia.
Woody Allen quotes: I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.
Woody Allen quotes: The only love that lasts is unrequited love. The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
Woody Allen quotes: As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form. As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
Woody Allen quotes: I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens. I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen quotes: I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
Woody Allen quotes: It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel. It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
Woody Allen quotes: You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade. You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
Woody Allen quotes: After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex. After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
Woody Allen quotes: Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts. Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
Woody Allen quotes: Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
Woody Allen quotes: I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK) I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
Woody Allen quotes: Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it." Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it."
Woody Allen quotes: Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously. Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen quotes: I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen quotes: I read in self-defense. I read in self-defense.
Woody Allen quotes: As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree'
probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen quotes: Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds. Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
Woody Allen quotes: Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
Woody Allen quotes: I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints. I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
Woody Allen quotes: Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman. Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen quotes: American films, it's a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art. American films, it's a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.
Woody Allen quotes: If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner. If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
Woody Allen quotes: Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning. Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
Woody Allen quotes: I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen quotes: I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to ... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot. I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to ... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
Woody Allen quotes: Eternity is really long, especially near the end. Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Woody Allen quotes: That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing. That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen quotes: If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field. If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.
Woody Allen quotes: I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you. I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
Woody Allen quotes: Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen. Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
Woody Allen quotes: I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it. I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
Woody Allen quotes: Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Woody Allen quotes: If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Woody Allen quotes: Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Woody Allen quotes: Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate. Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
Woody Allen quotes: How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works. How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
Woody Allen quotes: I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Woody Allen quotes: I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light. I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
Woody Allen quotes: Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either. Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen quotes: I can levitate birds. No one cares. I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Woody Allen quotes: I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings. I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen quotes: Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come. Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
Woody Allen quotes: All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Woody Allen quotes: Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true. Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
Woody Allen quotes: I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen quotes: bullshit french post-war rationalizing bullshit french post-war rationalizing
Woody Allen quotes: If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Woody Allen quotes: I hope you're getting this down. I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen quotes: When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject. When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen quotes: For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal. For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
Woody Allen quotes: Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess. Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
Woody Allen quotes: If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen quotes: I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen quotes: There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope with it There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope with it ...
Woody Allen quotes: Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind. Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
Woody Allen quotes: One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles. One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
Woody Allen quotes: My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women. My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
Woody Allen quotes: I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her. I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen quotes: Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle. Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
Woody Allen quotes: I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight. I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen quotes: I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know ... I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland. I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know ... I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen quotes: The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion. The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
Woody Allen quotes: Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one. Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
Woody Allen quotes: Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue. Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
Woody Allen quotes: Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
Woody Allen quotes: All i have in my life is my imagination All i have in my life is my imagination
Woody Allen quotes: I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot

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