Scott Adams quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Scott Adams

Scott Adams Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Scott Adams on Wise Famous Quotes.

The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.

The power of daydreaming is similar to the power of well-made movies that can make you cry or make you laugh.

I get mail; therefore I am.

In the long run, any system that depends on your willpower will fail.

Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.

Everything he talked about had a kind of logic to it, but so do many things that are nonsense.

In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.

I pursued a conscious strategy of managing my opportunities in a way that would make it easier for luck to find me.

Focus on your diet first and get that right so you have enough energy to want to exercise.

Quality is not an independent force in the universe; it depends on what you choose as your frame of reference. When

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

You can change only what people know, not what they do.

It helps to see the world as math and not magic.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

The main difference between marketing and fraud is that criminals have to pay for their own alcohol.

take care of yourself first and use that success as leverage to get everything else you need. I'll

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

Stem cells are like toenail clippings with a better career plan.

I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero.

But never being wrong is no proof that
the method of testing is sound for all cases

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.

Pessimism is often a failure of imagination.

I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.

The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.

I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

You can't keep all bad luck from finding you, but you can fortify yourself to the point where the smaller stuff bounces off.

Sometimes what seems to be a difference in opinions is in fact just a difference in definitions.

Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.

Technology: No Place for Wimps!

Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.

I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.

The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.

How can one part be more important if each part is completely necessary?

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

The only risk of failure is promotion.

God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a spittoon.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

This was my first exposure to the idea that one should have a system instead of a goal. The system was to continually look for better options.

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has extraordinary power.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.

I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

My investments have been hurt.

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.
Dogbert's Motto

Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots.

Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.

Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.

Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same.

Successwise, you're better off being good at two complementary skills than being excellent at one.

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that
helps him get through the day

It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

I should have written that down.
- Dilbert

Never assume you understand the odds of things. I

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue

I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.

...grabbing failure by the throat and squeezing it until it coughs up a hairball of success.

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.

Other studies back this notion - physical fitness and daily exercise are correlated with success in business and in life.3 There's

Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.

Priorities are the things you need to get right so the things you love can thrive.

Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success.

I can't bring myself to believe in a God with a personality like my own. I base that on the paucity of lightning attacks on people who deserve it.

Remember, freedom is always taken, never given.

The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

You should also try to figure out which people are thing people and which ones are people people.

No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar,

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

Managing your personal energy is like managing budgets in a company.

Everything you want out of life is in that huge, bubbling vat of failure. The trick is to get the good stuff out.

The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

Rotten bosses don't get better. Any strategy that assumes they can is doomed.

Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn.

To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.

Persistence is useful, but there's no point in being an idiot about it.

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

People vote based on emotion. Period.

Skeptics," he said, "suffer from the skeptics' disease
the problem of being right too often.

By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.