Sam Kinison quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Sam Kinison

Sam Kinison Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Sam Kinison on Wise Famous Quotes.

Sam Kinison quotes: I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

Sam Kinison quotes: How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

Sam Kinison quotes: I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Sam Kinison quotes: Society needs a couple of vents that say what you're not supposed to say.

Society needs a couple of vents that say what you're not supposed to say.

Sam Kinison quotes: Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days ... Not all in a row.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days ... Not all in a row.

Sam Kinison quotes: You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do ... give sheep the vote?

You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do ... give sheep the vote?

Sam Kinison quotes: I'm not going to give up the shock part of my comedy.

I'm not going to give up the shock part of my comedy.

Sam Kinison quotes: AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.

AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.

Sam Kinison quotes: Anyone can go out on stage and start beating people over the head with rubber chickens. That'll get people's attention.

Anyone can go out on stage and start beating people over the head with rubber chickens. That'll get people's attention.

Sam Kinison quotes: Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

Sam Kinison quotes: When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

Sam Kinison quotes: I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

Sam Kinison quotes: I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.

I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.

Sam Kinison quotes: I've never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.

I've never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.

Sam Kinison quotes: Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

Sam Kinison quotes: If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Sam Kinison quotes: Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.

Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.

Sam Kinison quotes: It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

Sam Kinison quotes: Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

Sam Kinison quotes: I have lived a carnal life.

I have lived a carnal life.

Sam Kinison quotes: It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

Sam Kinison quotes: Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!

Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!

Sam Kinison quotes: Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

Sam Kinison quotes: I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

Sam Kinison quotes: I'm a comedian, and my comedy has never endorsed violence towards gays.

I'm a comedian, and my comedy has never endorsed violence towards gays.

Sam Kinison quotes: Everything can be satirized.

Everything can be satirized.

Sam Kinison quotes: If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.

If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.

Sam Kinison quotes: John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.

John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.

Sam Kinison quotes: Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

Sam Kinison quotes: My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

Sam Kinison quotes: The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies ... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!

The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies ... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!

Sam Kinison quotes: Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

Sam Kinison quotes: Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like aaaaa ... beeeee ... ceeee.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like aaaaa ... beeeee ... ceeee.

Sam Kinison quotes: There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

Sam Kinison quotes: I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

Sam Kinison quotes: Just because I do a few comedy bits about gay people, that does not mean I'm out there promoting some anti-gay cause.

Just because I do a few comedy bits about gay people, that does not mean I'm out there promoting some anti-gay cause.

Sam Kinison quotes: I'm attracted to heartbreakers.

I'm attracted to heartbreakers.

Sam Kinison quotes: So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.

So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.

Sam Kinison quotes: You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.

You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.

Sam Kinison quotes: I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.

I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.

Sam Kinison quotes: Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

Sam Kinison quotes: I'd rather entertain people than offend them.

I'd rather entertain people than offend them.

Sam Kinison quotes: I'm so tired of men who are afraid to hurt women's feelings.

I'm so tired of men who are afraid to hurt women's feelings.