Your Not Funny Quotes: top 68 famous quotes about Your Not Funny

Your Not Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Your Not Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK? — Orson Scott Card

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you'll never get your balls back. - Simon Hunt — Dannika Dark

Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass. — M.F. Moonzajer

Okay okay, hold your people," she told the big horse as she started walking.
"You're not going to starve to death any time soon you know. — Kate Lattey

WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY:
In your case, ED is not a man's name. — Robin Glasser

Do not complain about two things; your job and your position, because you can always change them. — M.F. Moonzajer

Funny the way it is, not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken, and it becomes your favorite song. — Dave Matthews Band

In a funny way, nothing makes you feel more like a native of your own country than to live where nearly everyone is not. — Bill Bryson

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs."
"I was curious! — Molly Harper

Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number - Jaxson Evans — Brit Gosik

I do not think, Prospero,' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house. — John Bellairs

You're not exactly up for the Humanitarian of the Year award, so save your altruism for someone who can't see through you like cellophane. — Rebecca McNutt

When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things. — Russell Brand

If I could get hold of something nasty and drop it in the coffee urn, I could poison them all."
"Too bad your personality's not water-soluble. — Jesse Hajicek

Two things are not debatable: eroticism, and comedy. If you don't think it's sexy, or funny, there's no way I can change your mind. — Gene Siskel

- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word. — Rudyard Kipling

Your name. That's all I want. I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours. — Colleen Hoover

You think batting your lashes is going to get you out of this?"

"Of course not. You're a married man, detective. — M. Kane

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. — Glen Hansard

It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown. — Reba McEntire

If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool. — Hippocrates

That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking, what's your vice and what brand of trouble does it lead to? — Neal Stephenson

Your pretense does not fool me, gnome. My eye will be upon you. — Cassandra Clare

To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we want shrews to eat your liver. — Dave Barry

I Don't care which president is sucking your dick at the moment, I will not be a party to the killing of innocent men! — Brandice Snowden Demon's Veil

Don't plead with anyone if you were not at fault, you'll only look inferior, stupid and funny, bolster your ego by doing the undoing. — Michael Bassey Johnson

My sisters call him Slinky Simon.'
Alec chuckled.
'It's only funny if he's not your cousin.'
'It's funny because it's true. — Julia Quinn

I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity. — Ellen DeGeneres

It's funny, 'cause you think surfing is your whole life, but then when you make a family it seems like it's not at all. — Joel Parkinson

The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.' — Carol Burnett

You should write about your life. It's kind of funny. When it's not depressing as hell. — Jeni Decker

I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around. — Olivia Munn

Go slowly, so that you do not bite your tail by accident. — Christopher Paolini

Funny, 'ow you can 'old a jewel in your 'and, and toss it away, and not even know what you 'ad until it's gone. — Jennifer Donnelly

What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows. — John Green

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. — Donald Knuth

Don't be concerned about others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others. — Confucius

It's best not to get settled on things being a certain way, I realized. Life had a funny way if interrupting your plans. — Tracey Porter

Cross your ankles and do not move."
"Does shaking count? — Lyn Gala

When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly. — Mitch Hedberg

Are you real?" Stupid. Of course he's real.
"Yes, Julie. I'm not the mystical man from your dreams. — Caroline George

No funny business. I'll scream and dead or not it will hurt your ears — Penelope Fletcher

Brookfield High School. How may I direct your call? No, sir, this is not a waste- disposal unit, I'm afraid you have the wrong number. — Jaclyn Moriarty

About mistakes it's funny. You got to make your own; and not only that, if you try to keep people from making theirs they get mad. — Edna Ferber

Ish #1 It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles. — Regina Griffin

Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can't. It's not organic. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Funny how you can measure time by pets that were not even your own. — Lori Lansens

A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops. — Alan Davies

Funny thing how when you reach out, people tend to reach right back. Best, then, to make sure your hand is open and not fisted. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring it on stage; it's not funny. — Jen Kirkman

You have to really believe not only in yourself; you have to believe that the world is actually worth your sacrifices. — Zaha Hadid

There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed. — Chic Murray

If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away. — Greg Proops

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn. — Hesiod

There's nothing on it worthwhile, and we're not going to watch it in this household, and I don't want it in your intellectual diet. — Philo Farnsworth

Not every woman you meet falls for your good looks"
He folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow. "So you think I look good? — Cindy Roland Anderson

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid. — Frankie Boyle

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering. — Marilyn Vos Savant

It's funny how you can live somewhere your whole life, but not really see it. — Kami Garcia

It's not funny anymore...", did you heard your self, you are entering a position called, "I wanna be a victim..., please take me". — Deyth Banger

Act your age, not your shoe size. — Prince

The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it. — Dick Armey

FYI, baby, havin' your attitude back is so far from annoying, it's not fuckin' funny. — Kristen Ashley

Foul!" yelled Jamie, who seemed extremely happy not to be the one facing a blade. "Distracting technique! Put your shirt back on right now. — Sarah Rees Brennan

Use condoms; it's wise not to gamble with your children's future. — Bauvard

The fate of the world depends upon whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives ..." ~ Skulduggery Pleasant — Derek Landy

Funny how one lie leads to another and before you know it, your whole life can be a lie. I sit on the porch swing later, not even — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Therefore, you might end up, like be dead, with still having that notion of 'not giving up' in your mind. — Jay Mark D. Saga-ad