You Are Not Funny Quotes: top 46 famous quotes about You Are Not Funny

You Are Not Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational You Are Not Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass. — M.F. Moonzajer

Always warm up the audience with a joke ... If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke ... — Jacob M. Appel

You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. — Katie Nolan

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. — Sarah Silverman

Two things are not debatable: eroticism, and comedy. If you don't think it's sexy, or funny, there's no way I can change your mind. — Gene Siskel

There are some things you just don't say...not even in a school! — X

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?"
"What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. — Glen Hansard

Forgive me ... I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel. — Lloyd Alexander

If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool. — Hippocrates

Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you? — W.C. Fields

You are not to say 'stink,' " interrupted Helen; "at least, you may say it, but you must pretend you are being funny while you say it. — E. M. Forster

There are nice, funny, totally good-looking guys out there. You just have to know where to look ... and apparently, where NOT to look. — Meg Cabot

You guys dated, didn't you?"
"Are you insane? Not even if the continuation of our kind depended on it would I be tempted to do something so awful. — Rachel Morgan

- You are exceedingly annoying.
- Thank you.
- It was not a compliment. — Jen Turano

It's not funny anymore...", did you heard your self, you are entering a position called, "I wanna be a victim..., please take me". — Deyth Banger

Comedy is a meritocracy. If you are funny, you are there. If you are not, you are out. — Kevin Feige

Don't think you are looking at me because you are not. — Eugene Ormandy

Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?"
"I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go. — Shannon K. Butcher

Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. — Seth Meyers

I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a roomful of obnoxious people. — Peter Cameron

Well, you are a wolf, I don't think it's a good idea to start the habit of you sleeping in the bed, you know, with all the shedding and what-not. — Quinn Loftis

Are you real?" Stupid. Of course he's real.
"Yes, Julie. I'm not the mystical man from your dreams. — Caroline George

If you are not too long, I will wait for you all my life. — Oscar Wilde

What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows. — John Green

My darling, you are indisposed! You must remain abed for the next eight months. Little Buford - "
"I am NOT naming our child Buford ... — Cassandra Clare

While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits of the dead ... While you do not know life, how can you know about death — Confucius

Sometimes we know people who are
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan

Are you . . . lost?"
"Not really," she told him. "We just don't know where we're going. — Joel N. Ross

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' — Susan Sarandon

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews

To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! — Chad Michael Murray

You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused.
"No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey

Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife — Ruth Downie

You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be. — Samantha Stroh Bailey

Don't be so humble - you are not that great. — Golda Meir

Are you okay?" I (Cassie) call up to him.
"Um. Define okay." (Ben)
"Okay means you're not bleeding to death."
"I'm okay. — Rick Yancey

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you. — Criss Jami

I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy. — M.F. Moonzajer

Are you sure you can't dematerialize? Not even a little?"
"I'm sure. — Lauren Oliver

Stop teasing you two," Suzy jumped in, "not all of Kathy's ideas are wacky."
"Gee thanks. Was that supposed to be a compliment? — E.A. Bucchianeri

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly. — Mitch Hedberg

I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'. — Aaron McGruder

You're not worried about being compromised, are you?" he asked. "Because I've already done that. — Lisa Kleypas

I like situational comedy when people are being completely serious and yet you can find something extremely funny, not jokes. — Bruce Robinson

When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much. — Joel Barnett, Baron Barnett