Work Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Work Funny
Work Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Work Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Internet's been down most of the day [at work]. Doing research by just asking everyone what we remember to be true. What could possibly go wrong?
— Rachel Maddow
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
— Woody Allen
I know I can't play funny roles in movies. I tried, and it didn't work.
— Sylvester Stallone
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.
— Mitch Hedberg
Tara grinned. "Funny how things work out,
— Jennifer McMahon
I stepped away from the wall and tried to put on a happy face. It didn't work. "Hi."
"She says that so well." Mal turned to me and winked. — Kylie Scott
"She says that so well." Mal turned to me and winked. — Kylie Scott
When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.
— Jennifer Crusie
If my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed.
— Jerome K. Jerome
If you want to work consistently, you have to be a team player.
— Russell Malone
The funny thing is, about the time I let go of any aspiration toward worldly success, that's about the time I started writing decent work.
— Ben Fountain
My only relationship policy is, don't bring your dirty laundry to work, no sex on company furniture and don't let it affect your work.
— Paula Graves
If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
— Christopher Titus
Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.
— Ed Bernard
It's a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.
— Alan Alda
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning ... That can keep me awake for days..
— Billy Connolly
IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round !
— Richard Madeley
You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
— Andy Rooney
Your welcome means more to me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, than a thousand souls. Watching Rachel work is a wonder of one catastrophe after another.
— Kim Harrison
You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
— Craig Ferguson
Most people like hard work, particularly when they're paying for it.
— Elbert Hubbard
George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work.
— Bill Cosby
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
— Steven Wright
So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.
— Nenia Campbell
I've been very lucky to work with people I think are funny and who are really awesome human beings.
— Jillian Bell
Pickup lines never work ... I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.
— Kate Upton
Funny little thing. How could she know that even despair can work for you if you're lucky enough to outlive it. I'd
— Wislawa Szymborska
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs ... one step at a time.
— Joe Girard
Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.
— Danielle Wood
Twitter, to me, works if you're funny. Twitter doesn't work as a promotional tool unless you do it very, very, very occasionally.
— Albert Brooks
Looking scary with a baseball outfit on and a little bouffant, you know, it just does not work. Especially with sculpted eyebrows.
— Robert Pattinson
There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.
— Scott Adams
Regarding creating a new work ... Sometimes you have to beat it like a red-headed step-child.
— John P. Sousa
I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.
— Wallace Wang
Do you actually see the testosterone pour out of you when you work out, or is it more of a mist?
— Eli Easton
As soon as I got funny, I killed any majestic intentions in my work.
— William Wegman
Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy!
— Hannah Murray
Twitter's a lot of work! That's the first thing I would say. There's so much pressure to be funny.
— Ari Graynor
I think that i was a rat in rat wheel in my previous life ... can not forget the habit
— Hiroko Sakai
Of course it hurts, it's a spanking. How else would it work?
— Breanna Hayse
I snootily say I can't take too many dramatic parts, as it's taking work from actors who aren't funny.
— Robert Webb
He caught her staring and smiled-not a conceited I-work-out-and-have-a-great-body type smirk, but more of a I'm-a-boy; you're-a-girl; life is good.
— Cherise Sinclair
The human body is the best work of art.
— Jess C. Scott
My goal was to show that even if people work in a garage or a supermarket, they have very funny things to say. We never hear their voices.
— Michel Gondry
I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it, and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work, but it ain't easy.
— Madeline Kahn
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
— Tim Vine
He'd have to turn on his high-voltage charm with these people. Should work. They were only used to 12V battery power after all-he'd dazzle them.
— Josephine Myles
That man behaves so much like the villain in a work of literature, it's almost funny," Arsibalt observed.
— Neal Stephenson
I don't know how breeder marriages ever work, since the wife never seems to understand.
— Andrea Speed
A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.
— Alan Davies
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
— Lane Kirkland
There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence.
— Michelle Obama
Bak stood a moment, as though considering whether the sum total of their shared working life was ending in a minus or a plus.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
— Henny Youngman
Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.
— Thomas Bernhard
I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.
— Chris Eigeman
Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere.
— Lorna Jane Cook
I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work,
— Eugene Levy
The only reason why you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays.
— Paul Heyman
He'd make her work so hard that a job as a cardboard-box presser at the margerine factory would seem like paradise.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
Everyone is messed up in their own way. The funny part is we all don't want anyone else to know, so we work so hard to hide it.
— Shana Norris
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
— Randy Glasbergen
Every Friday is black where I work.
— The Covert Comic
There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.
— Dick Van Dyke
It's funny how things work out sometimes.
— Anthony Horowitz
Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.
— Molly Harper
Blessed is the man who has found someone to do his work.
— Elbert Hubbard
Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If you're funny, you can find a stage to get on. If you're good, you'll start to get work and eventually get paid.
— Ted Alexandro
I do pauses, pauses work for me
— Dylan Moran
Marriage is like retiring as a bachelor and getting a sexual pension. You don't have to work for the sex any more, but you only get 65% as much.
— Aristotle.
I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office.
— William Ritter
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
— Ellen DeGeneres
It's funny, because when you work on a set, everyone is watching you. You are being observed by everyone.
— Emily Blunt
I've been very luckily - I bought a house, I work, my life's been very blessed. I thought it would be funny to exaggerate the non-working side.
— Simon Rex
I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.
— Frank Skinner
You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?
— H.R. Giger
It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.
— C.S. Lewis