Witty Humor Quotes: top 59 famous quotes about Witty Humor

Witty Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Witty Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Carla was wearing a No Fear sweatshirt. You are too old, Amy wanted to tell her, for legible clothing. — Jincy Willett

I watched you undress. Shame on you! — Ljupka Cvetanova

I am attracted to intelligence, a witty sense of humor, an adventurous outlook on life and spiritual awareness about one's self and the world. — Tanit Phoenix

Ack! I said.
Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me. — Jim Butcher

Nothing like cleaning the whole house while my siblings sing "O Canada" - #oldestchildsyndrome. — Michelle N. Onuorah

It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights! ... That's a real talent — Josh Stern

Deep down, he's shallow. — Peter De Vries

The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles. — Friedrich Nietzsche

Is it white wine? Red tastes like vinegar.'

'Of course it's white wine, I'm Japanese. — Natasha Pulley

Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed. — Gasmaskman

Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be, depress you. — Ankur Basu Roy

Have any sheep been seen walking out of the Library with seagoing adventurers clinging to their wool? — Lindsey Davis

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. — Maurice Sendak

The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists? — Jandy Nelson

Unsettling, like seeing Stalin on a skateboard. — David Nicholls

If you can't be yours while being mine, maybe you aren't as yours as you'd like to convince yourself that you are. — Aleksandra Ninkovic

He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger. — Derek Landy

-"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid. — Lloyd Alexander

There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden's brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload. — Courtney Kirchoff

I love Pizza thicker, when the crust is thinner! — Jasleen Kaur Gumber

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong. — Terry Pratchett

Well, enough of this introspection. It's depressing, quite frankly. — Sol Luckman

I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort. — Daniel Handler

Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit. — William Shakespeare

He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable — Emma Goldrick

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse. — Jasper Fforde

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you're having a churro. — Rucy Ban

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first! — Susan Kay

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing. — Emo Philips

...to go to a dance with a guy who has all the personality of a serial killer mixed with a sponge. — J.A. Beard

Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it's too crowded. — Sol Luckman

Spanish - how shall I say this? - is like
Portuguese spoken with a speech impediment. — Sol Luckman

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels. — Candace C. Bowen

This is the fast lane, folks ... and some of us like it here. — Hunter S. Thompson

A team that is always fun with witty sense of humor. We help each other around a lot and help push each other to be better — Min

(About a cookbook ... )
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts. — Terry Pratchett

I'm not sure I've turned your Commander inside out, but I can assure you if that iron skillet was empty, I would bring him down a peg or two. — Julia Mills

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile. — Zane Stumpo

When I die cremate me so I can finally fit into something small. — Xondra Day

Men weigh love with hands. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Displacement of 'What goes around, comes around' is Zero. — Gaurav Rao

Though you can live for as much as you like, but your longevity is stupidity if you were leading a worthless life. — Michael Bassey Johnson

Half is better than none unless it be of a wit. — Susan Lendroth

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. — Oliver Goldsmith

There are some men who are witty when they are in a bad humor, and others only when they are sad. — Joseph Joubert

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off. — Steve Kluger

Penny was a very pretty, witty and brave girl, as bold as a Marine platoon storming Iwo Jima. — John C. Wright

He gave a wry smile. With all this vigilant vigils on virginity, you would think the country would have controlled its population by now. — Mallika Nawal

True Devdas are Authors — Santosh Avvannavar

Yesterday he had limped, but today there was no part of his feet that didn't hurt, so limping did no good. — Patrick Rothfuss

Pearls are congealed oyster spit. — Margaret Atwood

Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They're hilarious: very dry and witty. — Merritt Patterson

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate? — Sol Luckman

My libido was like a Golden Retriever puppy, ready to jump all over him and lick his face.
Down, girl. — Sarina Bowen

The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much. — Josh Lanyon

Dead yet?" Gus answered.
I smirked. "Not yet, but the night's still young."
"Here's hoping. — Jessica Shirvington