Witty But Funny Quotes
Collection of top 50 famous quotes about Witty But Funny
Witty But Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Witty But Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
— Edith Summerskill, Baroness Summerskill
I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
— George Burns
-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.
— Terry Pratchett
I may just be on the outskirts of being okay.
— Pawan Mishra
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
— Billy Connolly
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
— Ogden Nash
You promise?""I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now. — Derek Landy
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.
— Conan O'Brien
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.
— Mignon McLaughlin
Pickup lines never work ... I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.
— Kate Upton
I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen.
— Holly Hood
(About a cookbook ... )- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts. — Terry Pratchett
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
— Freddie Mercury
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there
— Will Rogers
Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
— Oscar Wilde
I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.
— Robert De Niro
When you paint late at night, drinking beer or wine or both, you gotta be very careful to watch what you are doing ...
— Hiroko Sakai
Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things.
— James Dashner
I've often been criticised, but never critically wounded
— Johnny Rich
How dare you. Do you have any idea who I am?" Laurence whined."I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. — Mark A. Cooper
The phone beeped - M fine but these two guys R on me like cougars on Adam Lambert.
— Elisabeth Staab
Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.
— Steven Moffat
He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable
— Emma Goldrick
You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.
— James Dashner
The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.
— Albert Einstein
Laurence the last time I saw something like you I flushed it away.
— Mark A. Cooper
I love people; it's mankind I can't stand.
— Charles M. Schulz
And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese
— Lucian Bane
The important question is, what will your wear for a wedding dress, Alexia? You look horrible in white.
— Gail Carriger
Men weigh love with hands.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile.
— Zane Stumpo
