Witty And Funny Quotes
Collection of top 31 famous quotes about Witty And Funny
Witty And Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Witty And Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
#3 pencils and quadrille pads.
— Seymour Cray
As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling.
— Mary Wortley Montagu
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
— Billy Connolly
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
— Bernard Manning
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
— William J. Clinton
Ugliness is better than beauty. It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all.
— Johnny Depp
You promise?""I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now. — Derek Landy
Money, Gun and Lie can solve almost all the problems.
— Amit Kalantri
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
— George Carlin
Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.
— Scott Lynch
Pickup lines never work ... I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.
— Kate Upton
I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
— Woody Allen
He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.
— Derek Landy
I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen.
— Holly Hood
Between funny and wittyFalls the shadow — Stephen Fry
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
— George Carlin
You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.
— Amit Kalantri
When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there.
— Amit Kalantri
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there
— Will Rogers
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
— Finley Peter Dunne
Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.
— Steven Moffat
Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
— Oscar Wilde
(About a cookbook ... )- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts. — Terry Pratchett
