With Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about With Funny
With Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational With Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
He left the key in the ignition. No one was likely to come up here and steal the truck- and if anyone did ... well, he could deal with Charles
— Patricia Briggs
Gram was flirting with Ken!
— Virginia Smith
You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.
— Harvey Diamond
What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
— Dave Chappelle
I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity.
— Kumail Nanjiani
![With Funny Quotes By Adrienne Wilder: [the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/with-funny-quotes-by-adrienne-wilder-151503.jpg "With Funny Quotes By Adrienne Wilder: [the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that")
[the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with a gas fart, people actually ducked for cover.
— Adrienne Wilder
Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister.
— The Undertaker
It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with.
— Lindsay Lohan
Leonard had let them go alone with the young boy who Ali was now convinced, was a couple falafel's short of a picnic
— L.R. Currell
Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.
— Charles Caleb Colton
Now, my intention was to drink just enough to dull the senses, but intentions should never be mixed with alcohol.
— Kirt J. Boyd
Flirting with random women in a tavern? That sounds like Helios. Well, it sounds like most of the gods, actually.
— Rick Riordan
The only real significance she had attached to the memory was that it was funny what stuck with you.
— David Foster Wallace
I'm waiting with baited breath to hear that silver tongue of yours.
— Jodie B. Cooper
At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.
— Karl Pilkington
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?
— Tina Fey
It became sort of a snowball effect, with guys trying to deal in their own way with 9/11, whether it was drinking or whatever,
— Denis Leary
This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
— P.G. Wodehouse
And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.
— Molly Ivins
That is simply the most beautiful publishing office in the world, with that cranky old building in that wonderful park.
— Jim Harrison
A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.
— Barack Obama
The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
— Russell Howard
Yes she met with a slight accident involving a stake." Ash said "funny how that happens sometimes ...
— L.J.Smith
Archbishop: "God is with us!"William the Great : "Bishop, if God is with us, then he is not with them, congratulations!
We are victorious! — Arash Pakravesh
I had a funny feeling that day, all day: something about how much I liked my life and where I was with it.
— John Darnielle
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy
I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there.
— Jonathan Tropper
I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor ... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.
— Steve Carell
I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.
— Jim Norton
I've always surrounded myself with funny people.
— Leslie Mann
It's funny how even when you've lived with someone your whole life, they can still surprise you.
— Shannon Wiersbitzky
Funny enough, every role that I have had, I try to tone down my accent or speak with better diction.
— Djimon Hounsou
Lovely, not only did the truck look like it was on its last leg, it was going to take the environment with it.
— Adrienne Wilder
A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick.
— Nicole McKay
It is a fact that even warming moments overwhelm me with despair, and this is why I am I.
— Morrissey
Time is funny lately, nothing to do with clocks.
— Victor Lodato
I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!
— Wesley Snipes
By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much.
— Jemima Kirke
If you have spent any time with Barack Obama, you know he's a funny guy. He's a good guy. He knows sports.
— Ed Rendell
The online music magazine Pitchfork once wrote that I would collaborate with anyone for a bag of Doritos.
— David Byrne
The funny thing about mundies is how obsessed with magic they are for a bunch of people who don't even know what the word means.
— Cassandra Clare
No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain.
— Ivan Stoikov
Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.
— Molly Harper
Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."
— David Letterman
I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!"
— Mitch Hedberg
There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off."What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey
He can't get broke so long as he is stuffed with money.
— L. Frank Baum
Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"
— Henny Youngman
I don't hold water with that theory
— Ron Greenwood
Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
— Zach Galifianakis
Living with computers gives funny ideas.
— Wim Crouwel
And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing.
— Jackie Kessler
Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet
You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell.
— Heather Hildenbrand
She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche.
— Larissa Ione
I came up with a good idea ... see-through skin.
— Karl Pilkington
In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music.
— Orson Scott Card
She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
— Tammara Webber
It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.
— Iliza Shlesinger
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
— Tommy Cooper
We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!
— Jerry Coleman
My retirement plan was in place but Bernie Maidoff with my money.
— David Letterman
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
— David Letterman
There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.
— Dick Van Dyke
A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.
— Kristen Schaal
she was enveloped by a wave of calm. Funny how just seeing the giant logo of an apple with a bite out of it did that to her.
— Michelle Gagnon
Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard.
— Michael Gambon
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."
— Mitch Hedberg
I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.
— Lauren Graham
If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb.
— P. J. O'Rourke
We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.
— Charles Barkley
Hmmm. Someone has a high opinion of himself. Comes with being royalty, I suppose. Like funny hats and a fondness for beheadings.
— Brandon Sanderson
I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me.
— Shannon L. Alder
The funny thing about writing is I think a lot of people assume that you're sitting in a garret with a quill pen for hour after hour.
— Lincoln Child
I was always pretty funny with my friends.
— Kenan Thompson