When They Say Funny Quotes: top 33 famous quotes about When They Say Funny

When They Say Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational When They Say Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish." — Robert Schimmel

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When? — Bill Hicks

- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word. — Rudyard Kipling

It's funny when people say something is "unreal" about something that is, in reality, real. I'm so guilty of it, it's real! — Ethan Luck

I suppose when you say you slept with him, it was more than just a nap?"
Lillian shot her a withering glance. "Daisy, don't be a pea wit. — Lisa Kleypas

It's a funny thing about rap, that when you say 'I' into the microphone, it's like a public confession. It's very strange. — Zadie Smith

That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny. — Faye Kellerman

My parents were from New England. It's very funny, but when I grew up, you always had to say, 'Yes, ma'am' and 'Yes, sir.' — Cy Twombly

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that. — Kellan Lutz

Isn't it funny that they say most girls have daddy issues, when really, every dude does? — Amy Schumer

Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?" — Bill Bailey

He said "cool" like I say a Spanish word when I'm not sure of the pronunciation. — Kelley Armstrong

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding! — Jeff Foxworthy

During job interviews, when they ask: 'What is your worst quality?', I always say: 'Flatulence'. That way I get my own office. — Dan Thompson

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. — Don Rickles

You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one. — Jay Leno

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? — George Carlin

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween! — Gary Gulman

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt. — Mike Birbiglia

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' — Conan O'Brien

It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it. — Julia L. Roberts

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. — Henny Youngman

Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny. — Lewis Black

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone. — John Requa

You look worse today than you did when you had two black
eyes."
"Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things. — Gwen Hayes

When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop. — Alan Perlis

When I say something funny, I don't laugh. — Blake Lively

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk. — Rob Huebel

How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath? — William Shakespeare

Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense — Lucille Clifton

Just when I think I have nothing to say, the characters start to speak. Writing is funny like that. — J.D. Barker

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' — Susan Sarandon

Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking." — David Letterman