Waiter Quotes: top 87 famous quotes about Waiter

Waiter Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Waiter quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

If a guy treats me respectfully and the waiter demeaningly, I'm turned off. — Moran Atias

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant! — Henny Youngman

The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion. — Douglas Adams

I've never been in love ... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food — Zach Galifianakis

I left school at 16 and skipped university to work, initially as a waiter. I think I missed out on what would have been great years. — Peter Mayle

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time. — Craig Benzine

I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters. — Oscar Wilde

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' — Phyllis Diller

The waiter brought fresh-baked bread and cheese, a bottle of sparkling water for Annabeth, and a Coke with ice for me (because I'm a barbarian). — Rick Riordan

Champagne,' she added to the hovering wine waiter. 'The Widow '23. — Kerry Greenwood

I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school. — Nick Frost

I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system. — Harry Hill

Peppier n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. — Steven Pinker

I was photographing every meal I ate, every person I met, every waiter or waitress who served me, every bed I slept in, every toilet I used. — Stephen Shore

The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter. — Nubar Gulbenkian

I worked as a waiter when I was 15 and got a chance to appreciate good, simple food. There's nothing better than a boiled egg with toast. — Ewan McGregor

Silence approaches the table like an overeager waiter. Hovers around making everyone feel looked at. — Kate Tempest

a flesh-and-blood waiter and therefore as rare in San Francisco as a flying horse, — Christie Golden

It didn't get any more glamorous than Havana, Cuba, in the 1950s. I used to go there when I was a waiter on a cruise ship. — Sirio Maccioni

From being a waiter, to a door-to-door salesman, to a car-washer, to a delivery boy - I have done it all. — Randeep Hooda

When I was a waiter I was fired twice from the same restaurant. I guess I was that good of an actor but that bad of a waiter. — Nathan Fillion

In life there are two types of people: those who catch the waiter's eye and those who don't. — Gyles Brandreth

Waiter - there's a bigot in my soup. — Christina Engela

A critic at best is a waiter at the great table of literature. — Louis Dudek

I did quite a lot of menial jobs. I was a waiter, an inventory clerk touring round properties listing cups and saucers, and a laserquest marshal. — Richard C. Armitage

I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour. — Nigella Lawson

The world can be divided between people who can get a waiter's attention and those who can't. — Jonathan Carroll

When, finally, she did sleep, it was the slumber of a watcher and waiter. Light, and full of sighs. — Clive Barker

Robert Whitmore
died of apoplexy
when a stranger from Georgia
mistook him
for a former Macon waiter. — Frank Marshall Davis

Shoulder. They weigh that much. Tyler's a banquet waiter, — Chuck Palahniuk

Just the other day I witnessed a disagreement between a waiter and a customer over whether the coffee he served her was a cappuccino or a latte. — Gloria Furman

Waiter, why on earth is there a footprint on my pie? You did ask me to step on it, sir. — Jane Eccles

Could I have a Sloe Gin Fizz, without the gin?"
"What's the point of that, Miss?" the waiter said.
"Tomorrow morning," Mabel said. — Libba Bray

Grant to Sydney: That waiter you just gave your drink order to ... that wasn't a waiter, it was a Jonas Brother. — Brynna Gabrielson

I was working in restaurants as a captain and as a waiter. — Sally Schneider

Real Humility is when I can treat a minister, a prince, a priest, a teacher, a waiter and a janitor with the same and equal respect. — Jeroninio Almeida

Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. — Ian Desabrais

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. — Rodney Dangerfield

If she wanted to bang every waiter and bellman on the Mexican Riviera, she would do so with dildos on. No one said her rebound(s) had to be classy. — Kate Meader

Insanity hovered close at hand, like an eager waiter at an expensive restaurant. — Arundhati Roy

One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear. — Travis J. Dahnke

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor. — Quentin Crisp

If I can't eat the meal in a restaurant, and the waiter asks, 'Is everything all right, Madam?', I tell them that I'm on a diet. — Cilla Black

I was a waiter before 'The Office,' so to me, this was a winning lottery ticket. Everything about my life has changed. — John Krasinski

Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian? — Djuna Barnes

I wanna try being a waiter at restaurant or work to introduce Korea to other people! — Seungri

When you find a waiter who is a waiter and not an actor, writer, musician or poet, you've found a jewel. — Andre Soltner

Waiters are like hookers, never around when you want them. — Bernie Ecclestone

I would say a full-time waiter in a high-price house could easily make $75,000, $80,000 a year. — Tom Douglas

A good setter is like a waiter. — Julio Velasco

If I worked as a waiter, I'd go home and write songs and record them. I'd have to. It's the only thing I know how to do. It's the only thing I can do. — Albert Hammond Jr.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick. — Jay Mohr

A diplomat these days in nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. — Peter Ustinov

Heads together. I tell the waiter, give us clean food, please. Please, don't be doing any trash to the stuff we order. In that case, sir, — Chuck Palahniuk

I had a little delivery van, and I did work around Queens. I was also a waiter at Red Lobster, so I was working on the business in between jobs. — Daymond John

The waiter repeated, The cocktails are from Mr Seadon. He asked me to tell you that he thought you'd enjoy them. They are called Secrets. — Milly Silver

Your dressed as a waiter and I am dressed as a doctor so we are just as we live. — Tim Wayne

This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Just kidding ... Or am I? — Craig Benzine

At present every coachman and every waiter argues about whether or not the relativity theory is correct. — Albert Einstein

Nature is a porno. Deal with it. — Craig Benzine

I'm the Waiter, you know! — P.L. Travers

If Mykle Hansen needed to eat puppies for breakfast to be himself, he would rap the table and scream "waiter, more puppy sauce! — Garrett Cook

The cook hates the waiter, and they both hate the customer — Haruki Murakami

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. — Dave Barry

How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person. — Austin Butler

[To waiter who had spilled soup on her:] Never darken my Dior again! — Beatrice Lillie

Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers. — Stephen Fry

I'm like a waiter and you something like a hater with trays in both hands, place an order I can cater. — Drake

The sky is as gruff as a Chinese waiter. It keeps slamming the silverware against the horizon. — Tom Robbins

I was a lousy waiter, dealing with people and having people in your face like that. — Judge Reinhold

If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer, you're a waiter. — Dan Poynter

A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter. — Morey Amsterdam

Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT. — Richard Kadrey

...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make. — Eoin Colfer

a real sport." The waiter popped the cork and — Judy Blume

I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky. — Jane Fonda

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter. — Don Herold

When I was a waiter, I wanted to be the best waiter I could be and worked to be better at it every day. — Robert Herjavec

Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma'am? (Waiter)
'How about a bag for my head, or a stick to beat Lanie with?' (Grace) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Waiter trainers claim that an investment in education pays off very quickly for restaurants. — David Sax

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter." — Henny Youngman

I definitely had fun being a waiter. I can't say for sure that I was a good waiter. I think that I made people have a good time. — John Krasinski

for, failing to capture the attention of a waiter, I hooked one of them by the arm and ordered a whiskey and soda. The buzz of conversation, — Elizabeth Peters

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. — George S. Kaufman

Waiter, this is not the policeman I ordered. I wanted one with a lot less sauce. — Jennifer Echols

I'm almost 40, so it's an awkward time in my career. You kind of hope it comes through and, if not, I'll be a waiter. Awesome. — Matthew Lillard

I like it when the waiter askes you if you want parmesan cheese on your dinner, yeah, give me essence of puke all over me tea! — Lee Evans