Twain Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Twain

Twain Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Twain quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Children and fools always speak the truth. — Mark Twain

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. — Mark Twain

The best of us would rather be popular than right. — Mark Twain

Geological time is not money. — Mark Twain

All you need in life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure ... MARK TWAIN — Julia London

Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so. — Mark Twain

It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech. — Mark Twain

A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. — Mark Twain

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul. — Mark Twain

What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking? — Mark Twain

Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. — Mark Twain

Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it. — Mark Twain

A robber is more high-toned than what a pirate is - as a general thing. In most countries they're awful high up in the nobility - dukes and such. — Mark Twain

The heart is the real fountain of youth. — Mark Twain

The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter ... — Mark Twain

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the fellow who can't read a line. — Mark Twain

Such is the human race. Often it seems such a pity that Noah.. didn't miss the boat. — Mark Twain

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. — Mark Twain

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. — Mark Twain

When its steamboat time
you steamboat — Mark Twain

Tolstoy carelessly neglects to include a boat race. — Mark Twain

A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment. — Mark Twain

Truth is stranger than fiction... — Mark Twain

I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land. — Mark Twain

I don't want no better book than what your face is. — Mark Twain

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by. — Mark Twain

No more can I be sever'd from your side, Than can yourself yourself in twain divide: — William Shakespeare

She clung to him, she poured out her terrors, her unavailing regrets, and the far echoes turned them all to jeering laughter. — Mark Twain

Tout les jours you are coming some fresh game or other on me, mais vous ne pouvez pas play this savon dodge on me twice! — Mark Twain

Mark Twain said "all ideas are second-hand, consciously and unconsciously drawn from a million outside sources. — Sean Patrick

What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there! — Mark Twain

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. — Mark Twain

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. — Mark Twain

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate ... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. — Mark Twain

If all men were rich, all men would be poor. — Mark Twain

Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more. — Mark Twain

In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer. — Mark Twain

gone, you see, yet finding — Mark Twain

I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened. — Mark Twain

Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling. — Mark Twain

Figures don't lie, but liars figure. — Mark Twain

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army. — Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. — Mark Twain

It is better to support schools than jails. — Mark Twain

The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze. — Mark Twain

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. — Mark Twain

I've experienced a great deal of pain and suffering in my life ... most of which has never happened. — Mark Twain

Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy; aristocracy of the American type. — Mark Twain

Can any plausible excuse be furnished for the crime of creating the human race? — Mark Twain

Most of the adventures recorded in this book really occurred; — Mark Twain

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it. — Mark Twain

God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage — Mark Twain

Architects cannot teach nature anything. — Mark Twain

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma. — Mark Twain

Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased. — Mark Twain

When everything goes without a hitch, where's the challenge, the opportunity to find out what you're made of? — Shania Twain

Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them. — Mark Twain

It's not what you don't know that kills you, it's what you know for sure that ain't true. — Mark Twain

All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side. — Mark Twain

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible. — Mark Twain

I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true. — Mark Twain

One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge. — Mark Twain

I should have been glad to acquire some sort of idea of Hindu theology, ... but the difficulties were too great. — Mark Twain

The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone — Mark Twain

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction. — Mark Twain

Tom Sawyer the Pirate looked around upon the envying juveniles about him and confessed in his heart that this was the proudest moment of his life. — Mark Twain

Do one thing every day you don't want to do. — Mark Twain

[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology. — Mark Twain

It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head. — Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about Heaven and Hell, you see, I have friends in both places. — Mark Twain

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. — Mark Twain

The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. — Mark Twain

The more I know about people, the better I like my dogs. — Mark Twain

Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has. — Mark Twain

Demagogue
a vessel containing beer and other liquids. — Mark Twain

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got. — Mark Twain

God created war so that Americans would learn geography. — Mark Twain

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card. — Mark Twain

True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god. — Mark Twain

I don't even know half the time what I'm nominated for. — Shania Twain

I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union. — Mark Twain

If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear. — Mark Twain

Tell the truth or trump-but get the trick. — Mark Twain

One day man by the slow processes of evolution shall develop into something really fine and high - some billions of years hence, say. — Mark Twain

A man can't get his rights in a govment like this. Sometimes I've a mighty notion to just leave the country for good and all. — Mark Twain

I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing. — Mark Twain

Don't wait the time is never just right. — Mark Twain

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. — Mark Twain

The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor. — Mark Twain

Principles have no real force except when one is well fed. — Mark Twain

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain

Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out. — Mark Twain

Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it. — Mark Twain

Every person is a book, each year a chapter, — Mark Twain

Travel is fatal to bigotry. — Mark Twain

It is no use to keep private information which you can't show off. — Mark Twain

All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime. — Mark Twain

For he did not seem to know any way to do a person a kindness but by killing him. — Mark Twain

He was not the Model Boy of the village. He knew the model boy very well though - and loathed him. — Mark Twain

Reputation is a hall-mark: it can remove doubt from pure silver, and it can also make the plated article pass for pure. — Mark Twain