Travel Humor Quotes: top 56 famous quotes about Travel Humor

Travel Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Travel Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal. — Eoin Colfer

The desert doesn't care who you are, and neither does anyone or anything who lives in it. — Deanne Stillman

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time. — Chelsea Handler

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? — Steven Wright

Man, you should write a book.'
'I know. You couldn't make this stuff up, could you? — Stephanie Wood

Albatrosses and penguins are the last birds I'd want to murder. — Bruce Chatwin

There's a mathematics to nesting, I'm sure, that explains how length of stay + space available = accumulating way too much stuff. — Amy Smith

Make sure your not followed! Don't go anywhere — Benny Bellamacina

Will you treat people who make you miserable, as prison guards, or travel agents? — Leslie Miklosy

Damn Lyric, it isn't torture. It's travel. Get some sleep."
- Sabine — J.W. Ellis

Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light, they say, forgetful of the shadow's speed. — Howard Nemerov

Walk your own path and be yourself — Joanne Nussbaum

Although I understand that all days are equal with 24 hours each, most of us agree that Friday is the longest day of the week and Sunday the shortest! — D.S. Mixell

Fiction is the poor persons travel agent. — L.Douglas Muncy

No day should be without romance — Dana Bennett

It's like rock n' roll for your eyes. — Paul Howard

The pleasant fact is that the British are not much good at violent crime except in fiction, which is of course as it should be. — Bill Bryson

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. — Oscar Wilde

Space: the gaping hole between land and other land. — SE Zbasnik

He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us! — David Sedaris

Tout les jours you are coming some fresh game or other on me, mais vous ne pouvez pas play this savon dodge on me twice! — Mark Twain

The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago,' continued Marvin. — Douglas Adams

It is the right of a traveller to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends. — Susanna Clarke

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars. — Charles Kuralt

It is not the destination where you end up but the mishaps and memories you create along the way! — Penelope Riley

I had aimed at Mars and was about to hit Venus; unquestionably the all-time cosmic record for poor shots. — Edgar Rice Burroughs

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. — Bill Bryson

Ever since her trip with Alexia to Scotland, Mrs. Tunstell had rather a taste for foreign travel. Alexia blamed it on the kilts. — Gail Carriger

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. — Woody Allen

That was a hell of a thing. — Engineer Fred Kwan Galaxy Quest

When given the chance to see China off the beaten track, definitely take it. — Larry Herzberg

Veni, vidi, vici. That was easy for Julius Caesar to say; he crossed Italy in a chariot, not on a stupid bike." - Vivia — Leah Marie Brown

I've never understood people who just go out for one drink. Once I have one drink, I want all the drinks. — Vicki Lesage

When I travel, I get lovesick. Well, they call it chlamydia. — Jimmy Carr

There a dozen ways to skin a cat. All of them are illegal. — Ness Kingsley

It is not every tourist who bubbles over with mirth, and that unquenchable spirit of humor which turns a trial into a blessing. — Agnes Repplier

You've never had wok-seared spicy broccoli until you've had takeout trans-temporal wok-seared spicy broccoli delivered by a copy of yourself. — Magnus Von Black

Enjoy the moment while waiting. — Lailah Gifty Akita

A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights. — Rodney Dangerfield

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport. — Douglas Adams

Why you'll never see a woman with a bomb in her shoe: we have too much respect for shoes. — Carolyn V. Hamilton

Night falls over Machu Picchu to the sound of Abba's 'Dancing Queen'. — Michael Palin

...being a weatherman in Ireland is about the biggest scam going. — Rachel Friedman

Celebrities are like infants. Neither can wipe their own ass. — Michael Brian

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. — Mark Twain

My need to parent is so much bigger, sometimes, than my children's need for parenting. — Margot Page

Solutions sometimes present themselves after a reset. — Les Lynam

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? — Steven Wright

Time travel is awesome ... And useful. That sentence had a typo when I typed it ... The first time. — Craig Benzine

Here I am Rock You Like a Hurricane. — Dave Eggers

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo. — Mark Twain

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home. — James A. Michener

Life is way too short to get lost, so follow the script the way it comes and keep changing the checkpoints on every page. — Neetesh Dixit

Just because you are on a path to damnation, doesn't mean you're going to get there. Be willing to change your travel plans. — Wllm Worth

Don't take everything for granted, and do not always count on finding everything you need. — Larry Herzberg

It's like time travel only, you know, slower... — Christopher Moore