Toilet Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Toilet
Toilet Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Toilet quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!
— J.K. Rowling
The Pacific is the best toilet for satellites.
— Neil DeGrasse Tyson
The Police Minister's toilet chided him
— Neal Stephenson
I can tell you, going out to buy toilet paper in the U.S. is a completely predictable experience.
— Evan Osnos
Sometimes, to relieve stress, he would soak his feet in the toilet, a practice that was not as soothing for his collegues.
— Walter Isaacson
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls.We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.
George!
Only joking, Mum. — J.K. Rowling
Sexy, no alcoholic, but she drink like a toilet. Told her do me a favor and put your mouth on this faucet.
— Young Jeezy
Great rolls of toilet paper arc like ejaculate through the black sycamores.
— Garth Risk Hallberg
I have played in every toilet but you still want to spoil it to prove I've made a big mistake
— Muse
I was photographing every meal I ate, every person I met, every waiter or waitress who served me, every bed I slept in, every toilet I used.
— Stephen Shore
From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.
— Adrian Edmondson
New York, like London, seems to be a cloacina [toilet] of all the depravities of human nature.
— Thomas Jefferson
Remember, if you write anything nasty about me, I'll come around and blow up your toilet.
— Courtney Love
I felt like a toilet frog during the last three decades of the preceding century. (38)
— Frans De Waal
What good is it if you read Plato and never clean your toilet? asked my mother, reverting to the values of Jubilee.
— Alice Munro
You're asking the government to control individual morality. This is a government that can't buy a toilet seat for under $600.
— Peter McWilliams
Right now I'm scoring goals and I'm the king of the world. And a couple weeks ago I was almost in the toilet. So maybe you just forget to flush me.
— Alexander Ovechkin
I can't do it, if I finish that, I'll have to attach a seat belt to the toilet.Maybe an airbag too. — J.A. Konrath
I don't like a clever toilet looking at our butts.
— Emma Donoghue
The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish.
— Thomas Lynch
![Toilet Quotes By Rex Reed: Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/toilet-quotes-by-rex-reed-539999.jpg "Toilet Quotes By Rex Reed: Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds")
Yo momma's breath smells so bad I don't know if I should give her a Tic Tac or a piece of toilet paper. Yo
— THE CLOWN FACTORY
With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity.
— Samuel Johnson
I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?'
— Matthew Broderick
France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.
— Billy Wilder
Toilet paper is a right, not a privilege,
— John Ringo
Operation Find A Toilet Before It Was Too Late was in full swing.
— Gabrielle Tozer
Replaying her words in my head, I could feel my face redden again. I wanted to flush my head down the toilet. — Mark Peter Hughes
![Toilet Quotes By Shaquille O'Neal: Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/toilet-quotes-by-shaquille-oneal-728753.jpg "Toilet Quotes By Shaquille O'Neal: Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet")
Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.
— Shaquille O'Neal
Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I cut coupons, love specials and believe in buying toilet paper and toothpaste in bulk. It's just who I am.
— Hilary Swank
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.
— Rob Delaney
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet roll, you know your life has changed.
— Jennifer Aniston
Go ahead then. Might as well wipe your ass with a doomed office romance before you flush your career down the toilet. You know it'll happen.
— Claire Gillian
All my good reading, you might say, was done in the toilet.
— Henry Miller
This is THE most romantic thing that has ever happened to me, and it involves both drugs and a toilet.
— Katie Heaney
Wow, he must get more ass than a toilet seat!
— Kresley Cole
Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.
— Alicia Silverstone
If you drop your Kindle in the toilet, you're done.
— Stephen King
Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.
— Quinn Loftis
Trust me-that toilet and me were best friends for the first few days I was here.
— Alexander Gordon Smith
If we all had what we wanted to eat ... We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry.
— Jim Thompson
You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.
— Kami Garcia
It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.
— Uma Thurman
Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.
— Eric Carr
I always have my best thoughts on the toilet.
— Charlie Day
Marriage was nothing but a lot of dirty dishes and pee sprinkled on your toilet seat. With
— Tarryn Fisher
I have always had a ridiculous fear that I will walk into the bathroom one morning and find a python in my toilet.
— Lisa Graff
But, dear God, don't listen to me. I'm an old lady in the middle of nowhere without a real toilet.
— Deb Caletti
I couldn't help but notice no one was grabbing toilet paper. That would be the first thing I grabbed if I thought it was the end of the world
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
Crap was not a bad word. It was the shortened name of the marketing genius of the best known flush toilet, John Crapper. Really.
— Faith Hunter
He was the first guy to find toilet paper in my butt.
— Hilary Winston
It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.
— George Lindsey
What a relief. I didn't have to check the toilet for anything or the light bulbs or the phone. It was just good old-fashioned friendship.
— Julia Roberts
When I have diarrhea I sit backwards on the toilet, because I like to face my enemy before I destroy it.
— Sarah Palin
By 1951, eight million homes had been declared unfit for habitation, of which seven million had no hot water and six million no inside toilet.
— John Grindrod
Seriously, she'd been tricked into bringing him toilet paper on the crapper too many times not to know he was a little shortsighted.
— Debra Anastasia
Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
— Zach Braff
One time I tried to use the bathroom in the dark, and I missed the toilet, and I fell on the floor.
— Rita Ora
A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it.
— Joseph Epstein
Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence?
— Robert Kiyosaki
My kingdom for a flush toilet.
— Lisa Tawn Bergren
It's an alien toilet!" -Cassie
— Katherine Applegate
The world is divided up into two kinds of people - those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't.
— John Gregory Dunne
When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
— Jennifer Aniston
and soon the cat was in the toilet.
— Soman Chainani
My aunt in Knoxville would bring newspapers up, which we used for toilet paper. Before we used it, we'd look at the pictures.
— Dolly Parton
Marla said, This isn't like when guys sit backward on the toilet and pretend it's a motorcycle. This is a genuine accident.
— Chuck Palahniuk
Make your life like toilet paper. Long and usefull.
— Wolfgang Riebe