Time Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Time Funny
Time Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Time Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
That time had a funny way of dimming the edges of reality until only something blurry remained,
— Nicholas Sparks
Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I'd like to talk about it, because my haters are my motivators.
— Ellen DeGeneres
Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything ...
— Clive Barker
My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed - if she's ever going to be good at golf.
— Anthony Jeselnik
I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny how time heals. Like that bullet in my ribs. It's there, I know it's there, but I can barely feel it at all anymore.
— Lauren Oliver
I spend a lot of time thinking about what I do and how it fits into the scheme of things. I won't do something just because it's funny.
— Joel Hodgson
Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!
— Rodney Dangerfield
A good time for laughing is when you can.
— Jessamyn West
The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it.
— Kevin Sorbo
We men had a meeting a long time ago, and we all decided, 'It's trousers'. And that's what we've worn ever since.
— Lisa Kleypas
The funny thing is,' Calvin said, 'I thought I'd been breathing underwater this whole time, but I guess I've been drowning.
— Shaun David Hutchinson
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
— Johnny Carson
Next time I will do things to you that will make you lose controll in seconds -Dimitri. — Richelle Mead
After two minutes after this time, and I am already there.
— Eugene Ormandy
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
— Steven Wright
He looked at the cash siting there "What's that for?" I made myself smile "A good time.
— Kasie West
I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
— Frank Carson
I should like to knock their silly heads together. What is the sense of laughing all the time? They are not saying anything funny.
— Agatha Christie
Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.
— Flip Wilson
To me, the movie is more funny if, at the same time, you can think a little bit or dream a little bit.
— Quentin Dupieux
The first time you went out, you became mixed up with a group of radical political terrorists.""That could have happened to anyone! — Lisa Kleypas
When you're given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already offensive enough.
— Shannon L. Alder
Life is funny...we never know what's in store for us and time brings on what is meant to be.
— April Mae Monterrosa
For a being more advanced than I am, he sure has a hard time answering a simple question
— Rick Yancey
I'm never growing up, I'll just sit in the corner of time and sip my juice box petulantly and judge your terrible Hamlet adaptations.
— Rhiannon McGavin
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
— Adam Sandler
It's funny, because I'm so associated with digital art and computer art, and yet I spend so little time in front of the computer.
— Keith Fullerton Whitman
Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I messed up!
— Mitch Hedberg
So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn't funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it.
— Chuck Palahniuk
I'm really scary in reality. Most of the time.
— Robert Pattinson
The next time you have a thought ... let it go.
— Ron White
Johnny Hart became much less funny after he found sobriety, and religion, around the same time.
— Gene Weingarten
I own your balls, huh !" She grinned, laughing." I'll have to remember that the nest time you give me any shit. " (El Diablo)
— M. Robinson
When something is too beautiful or too terrible or even too funny for words, then it is time for poetry.
— Eve Merriam
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. — Steven Wright
There is definitely a pressure for funny people to be funny. People want them to perform all the time.
— Marsha Thomason
Laurence the last time I saw something like you I flushed it away.
— Mark A. Cooper
I couldn't believe it. That was the first time I had ever seen somebody celebrate for a whole 40-second clock. That was ridiculous.
— Charles Woodson
That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year.
— Murray Walker
The Devil made me do it the first time -the second time I done it on my own — Billy Joe Shaver
Time is funny lately, nothing to do with clocks.
— Victor Lodato
If you have spent any time with Barack Obama, you know he's a funny guy. He's a good guy. He knows sports.
— Ed Rendell
People think I am funny all the time. But I am not. I am serious, too. Also, I enjoy serious, dramatic films.
— Kapil Sharma
The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
— Russell Howard
When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
— Cloris Leachman
I don't like forcing comedy and people just trying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time.
— Martin Lawrence
Time has that funny way of smoothing out the rough edges of things, even ones that hurt a little bit. Or a lot.
— Megan Hart
She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it.
— Robyn Carr
What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off?
— Parker S. Huntington
There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off."What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey
The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate.
— Emma Stone
My mum, a strange creature from the time when pickles on toothpicks were still the height of sophistication.
— Renee Zellweger
Punctuation was, it is sad to say, invented a very long time ago. Even more frustrating, it has remained with us ever since.
— Anne Elizabeth Moore
How come I have too many things to do all the time ... ??
— Hiroko Sakai
What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods
— Amber Kizer
By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.
— Jeff Foxworthy
You're like an idiot...trapped in an idiot's body!"Hey it was funny at the time and level of intoxication. — Jedidiah Behe
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'
— William Cosmo Monkhouse
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
— Henny Youngman
It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
— Stephen Leacock
Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you.
— Johnny Moscato
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less!
— E.A. Bucchianeri
I happen to be very good with younger actors because I have extremely vivid memories of that time of my life, and kids are just funny.
— David M. Evans
I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way.
— Huntley Fitzpatrick
It was funny how the monumental shit in your life tends to happen in slow-motion and at warp speed at the same time.
— N.R. Walker
Life is funny, at the same time being totally harsh.
— Isabel Gillies
Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness.
— Vijay Balakrishnan